I am so annoyed.
I had an appointment this morning with my new ladydoctor.
I don't like her.
And she's sending me in for a myriad of boob tests. Seriously? Would you people just get over my rack already?
So. I won't go on and on about how the nurse told me to put on a smock, but she pronounced it "schmock," or how the ladydoctor didn't even crack a smile when I told her pap smears always make me think of getting swabbed for strep throat. No. Instead? I'm gonna talk about Christmas.
I put up my tree this weekend.
I don't understand folks who have color-coordinated trees. I guess my tree is like my house - junky. And meaningful.
This is my favorite ornament. Just because it makes me laugh.
And yes, Ms. Patti LaBelle is right next to the Ewoks. And yes, that is the Geriatric Poodle's collar.
Foxie Doxie and Lil' Frankfurter watched me put up the tree ... and didn't bat an eye. I couldn't help but wonder what sort of weird-ass shit I do on a regular basis that Lil' Frank - who is having his first Christmas - thinks a fake, decorated tree in the middle of the living room is a normal sort of happening.
Foxie Doxie and Lil' Frankfurter watched me put up the tree ... and didn't bat an eye. I couldn't help but wonder what sort of weird-ass shit I do on a regular basis that Lil' Frank - who is having his first Christmas - thinks a fake, decorated tree in the middle of the living room is a normal sort of happening.
Today, he finally started paying attention. He sniffed at the tree, and then barked at it for about 20 minutes. At least I know he's not visually impaired. Just an insane doxie.
This is my grandma's dresser, repurposed as a buffet in my dining room. I have to admit, I'm pretty excited about these vintage ornaments that I bought on sale after Christmas last year. And yes, I have sort of a thing for vintage pottery. And pink. And turquoise.
Notice the cute shrine made by the uber-talented Linda Crispell. Notice, too, the skill with which I managed to avoid showing the mountain of crap on my dining room table. Trust me - I'm just protecting you.
My mom and I made these stockings over Thanksgiving. Because she is crazy artsy and talented and doesn't mind me coming along for the ride. See how cute these are?
But wait! They are two-sided!
This side is made with an old tablecloth of my grandma's. It was all stained and had a good life as a valance in my apartment kitchen. Now? Livin' on celebrating Christmas, a holiday Grandma loved.
I'm so excited about these. And making stuff with my mom is so cool.
Next stop on Cha Cha's Holiday House Tour?
Yes. My super-talented mom made me a Christmas quilt! A quilt with turquoise and pink in it. Does my mama love me or what?
Obviously, Foxie is a big fan of the quilt. I couldn't get a doxie-free pic of the quilt.
And finally ... we have an appearance from everybody's favorite holiday amphibian: Krampus the Christmas Frog!
He's up high because Lil' Frank keeps trying to eat him, which is so not the Christmas spirit.
And yes, that's my dad, age 4. One of my favorite pictures in the entire universe. Does he rock that bow tie or what?
So, thanks for indulging me. Invite me over for your holiday house tour and I'll post a link to your blog!
Two words for you,
ReplyDeletePerry Man.
I chose a woman first as well. She was super mean and while we reached an uneasy working relationship I never felt like hugging her like I do my current guy.
Course you are probably done choosing people to prod your nether regions at this point.....
and really, they need to step OFF the boobs.
This year I asked my doctor if I could skip my annual pelvic exam and she said YES! (they have been normal forever, and, dammit, I just wasn't in the mood.)And she said I do't have to get a mammogram until I'm 50! Huzzah!
ReplyDeleteAlso: you are psychic because I was just wondering, "...Where's Krampus this year?" *hahaha!* I <3 the christmas frog!
A gyno without a sense of humor is ANNOYING.
ReplyDeleteI like your meaningful tree. And Ewoks. But mostly your tree. We don't have many meaningful ornaments on our tree this year. I'm too afraid that the toddler and two cats will pull the whole darned thing down between now and Christmas. My 1982 ceramic Snoopy is on there, though. And you better believe I'll be checking my mom's tree for the family favorite: a plastic one-eyed football player.
Oh, and I'm doing a house tour on Monday!
OK, if you're willing to risk heart failure when you see the mess, and if you don't care that our tree looks like it was decorated by an over-excited 5-year-old and an over-excited almost-8-year-old neither of whom have ANY APPARENT DECORATING SKILLS (oh, wait a minute...), and if you're not afraid of crap photos, I'll give this a go in the next couple of days...
ReplyDeleteYou have been warned.
Oh, and if you're luck's in, you might just get a picture of the world's greatest cat, too... (especially if I want to take a photo of the sofa as he virtually lives on it).
Two more words for you: New doctor.
ReplyDeleteYour sense of humor ROCKS. Pap swab, throat swab--I've thought the same thing.
LOVE the Linda shrine. Anything vintage and antique and heirloom is cool. And I'm glad your dogs got used to the tree all right. How sweet to have G. Poodle's collar as a decoration. Just a pretty display all around. And Krampus. All we need is your brother now.
Loved the tour. I laughed when I thought what mine would look like at the moment. Favorite idea I'm going to steal sometime: tributes to pets on the tree.
ReplyDeleteI love the eclectic mix. Love the stockings made from Grandma's fabric.
ReplyDeleteLove Krampus! Seriously! You make me laugh ChaCha!!! I have been a frog collector for most of my life and I have several on display for every holiday. Come check it out! Not much to see except the tree and the frogs.....
ReplyDeleteLove all the decorations and I have a smattering of jealousy since I haven't done a thing to the house. Also, last time I had the gyno exam, he tapped my big toe and said, "nice color." I loved it! They just have to a sense of humor. :)
ReplyDeleteDoes anyone actually read the comments you leave on the posts four or five down on their blog page? I always think they get lost . . . but I'll try. LOVED the house tour! You are so ready for Christmas complete with those darling reversible stockings! And that quilt! You lucky, lucky spoiled rotten but so deserving girl! Do you think your mom would like another daughter? I'd even come visit for a quilt. And next, I love how your dog lays up high on the back of the couch like a cat would. My dog Pepper (bless her soul) used to that too. And lastly, I agree - I think color coordinated all matching ornament trees should be illegal.
ReplyDeleteMy current OB/GYN (a man) gives hugs and is hugely more sympathetic than the woman I was seeing.
ReplyDeleteI just posted Hart household holiday photos. Stop by and see!