I'm slow, but I eventually catch on.

I woke up with a magnificent - if somewhat belated - realization.

Remember Ex-Ex and his ecologically friendly wedding? The wedding where they had bamboo plates and utensils and printed on cork instead of paper? The wedding where they scoffed at the caterers' suggestion to serve salmon, since it isn't native to a 50-mile radius of the ceremony site? The wedding they kept at 150 guests because they wanted it to be intimate and to have the slightest environmental impact possible?

Right.

It was a destination wedding.

Where everybody had to drive anywhere from an hour to 15 hours to get there.

I'm speechless ... except to say, "Ecologically friendly, my ass, you pretentious bastard."

But other than that ... speechless.

OK, speechless and a bit smug.