Monday, September 8, 2014

Better Homes & Gardens, c'mon over!

We've got a mouse.

I used my mad detective skillz to figure out we have a mouse because someone chewed through the bag of Fritos, right before I made chili. So, you know, there were no Fritos for chili. Our lives are so terrible!

And after it became obvious that there had been a mouse in the bread drawer, I checked out all the other kitchen cabinets. The lazy susan was filled with corn starch, and the corn starch had tiny little paw prints running through it. There were actual turds in the blender.


For those playing along at home, here's the final tally:
  • Baking supplies thrown out: 5
  • Canned goods wiped down with bleach wipes: 752
  • Appliances with mouse droppings in them: 2
  • Hours of my life lost to disinfecting my entire kitchen: 27

This crazed disinfecting took so long because I had to keep stopping in order to clean up dog pee. Foxie Doxie has a raging UTI, and is basically slow-rolling through the house, tinkling as he goes.

You know you want to come over.

Last night, My Guy and I surveyed the damage. Everything except canned goods is on the counter, because surely our mouse isn't surly enough to breach the counter. This means that we have about 4 square inches of available counterspace for actual cooking.

We ate some chocolate chips and discussed our food options. And then I realized that the bag of chocolate chips had two tiny holes in it.

We're probably going to come down with the bubonic plague. It seems fitting.


  1. If it helps, My dog pees on everything and he doesn't have a UTI to justify it.

  2. What is it with the mice coming in so early this year? Our cats caught one a couple of weeks ago. I was *this close* to just letting them have it until they let it go and it ran somewhere that made it easy for me to fling it outside. I hope it tells all of the rest of them to stay away.

  3. It is truly amazing how such a tiny little creature makes us feel absolutely violated.

  4. Oh no! I'd have just FREAKED on the holes in the chip bag--because you know what is BROWN just like chocolate chips! UGH!
    You poor woman. All of it. I just cannot imagine.

  5. We occasionally have a mouse in the kitchen (and they don't seem to avoid OUR counters!)

    However, they've never chewed into food. Never. I think this might be because we have so many crumbs on the counter, they don't need to.

  6. Thanks to my overreaction to these small critters, my husband is hyper vigilant about ensuring the traps are always out. Currently we're being overrun by ants & fruit flies, so I haven't noticed any small furry things.

  7. Do you have a cat?

    I have to assume that we had or have mice, because we have crumbs. I hope I never ever see any evidence.

  8. Probably hantavirus before bubonic plague - good luck! We use peanut butter on the traps. Well, my husband does - I sit upstairs and pretend all is well.