Saturday, August 23, 2008

In which I am completely self absorbed.

About three years ago, I cut my hair. Like, really cut my hair. Although I could never dream of achieving her level of coolness and street cred, it could be argued that my hairstyle was reminiscent of Ms. Joan Jett.

It was a good fit, really. I am petite and my hair is crazy thick, so this was pretty much the only hairstyle I've ever had where I didn't have the option to literally hide behind my massive, Cousin It-type hair.

So I rocked the thick-haired girl's version of a pixie for a couple years and loved it. And then, the woman who has cut my hair for the last nine years went on maternity leave and all hell broke loose.

The woman she recommended I see in her absence was nice enough, but the cut just wasn't the same. It was too heavy and always poofed over my right eye. And my dueling cowlicks? Let's just say they combined forces to ruin my life.

So, I saw a new stylist who told me all about her porn-star roommate and cleaned up my 'doo to fascillitate ... growing that bitch out. Yes. I decided to grow out my hair. Perhaps to a long short 'doo? Or maybe go all out into a sassy bob? Only time will tell.

Which was all well and good until I realized that I have a class reunion in a month. A reunion for which I will undoubtedly have hair like this:

Because right now, I am totally looking like Match Game-era Marcia Wallace.

But I'm so unaccustomed to this volume of hair that I feel like I am rocking a Klute-era Jane Fonda shaggy mullet (shullet? magg?):

In all seriousness, though, right now my hair probably doesn't look like the overgrown disaster that I perceive it to be. No, it probably looks more like I'm about to give birth to the devil. As you do.

Is it any wonder that I've spent all weekend inside?

All photos courtesy of Google images.


Mrs. G. said...

Well, praise God, winter is on the way. Buy a cute hat and just suffer the grow out.

Anonymous said...

I was just thinking, can hats be in style again? I was given a mullet a few haircuts ago--it wasn't really a mullet, but reminiscent enough that I hated to look at myself. SO I feel your pain.

Linda Summerfield Crispell said...

Be grateful that you have hair sprouting from your scalp! I was born with Brillo Pads instead of human hair, yes the kind that can scrub off baked on beans and lasagna. To add insult to injury, I have a freakishly large head (think elephant man). So embrace the Joyce DeWitt doo.

Michelle Mayer said...

You're hilarious. The photos were a terrific walk through some very bad hair eras.

Why are women never happy with their hair?

Sara said...

I just want to warn you that at the reunion, I'm going to hold you down and cut your hair off, Blue Eyes.