Monday, May 24, 2010

Obviously delirious.

In the midst of the layoffs and subsequent restructuring, my posse at Corporate Behemoth has been focusing on what's really important.


Men's pants. Or, what we're calling "Fashion Pants."
You know what I'm talking about. The types of pants that helped Bret Michaels become The Celebrity Apprentice.

Pants with flaps.

Pants that can only be successfully donned by a select few men. Men like Bret Michaels. Not men like those at Corporate Behemoth.

No hate to my coworkers. But Fashion Pants? They are a fickle denim mistress. And all you soft software types who are flexing your style muscles on casual Fridays with your six-year-old polo and your brand-new Fashion Pants?

Don't. Just don't.

My Guy, who is admittedly a professional computer nerd, has ruled on Fashion Pants. "No one who works in IT should wear Fashion Pants," he says. "In fact, Fashion Pants shouldn't come in any size over a 30-inch waist."

Then he got thoughtful. "I bet your brother could wear Fashion Pants."

Now, I once shopped for pants with Poochie and his legs are so long and his waist is so buff that he has to special order his pants. So, yeah, I bet he could get away with Fashion Pants.

Except that he has taste.

Photos courtesy of


Wenderina said...

These are the conversations at the water cooler that keep you sane when all is a suckfest around you. Maybe you should institute fashion pants day just for some good laughs. Then again, maybe not.

mel said...

Oof, totally agree with Your Guy. These things shouldn't even be made for 30+ inch waists. This rule could maybe even be backed up to 28".

And when things are bad at work what's better than checking out the local variety of arses?

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I've seen that trend. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it's pretty awful.

gertrude said...

Ha! This was great. My friends and I call them "fancy pants." They're very popular here in Nashvegas with the Keith Urban wannabe types. If you're interested - I'd love to see a follow-up post on men's capri pants. I think we're supposed to believe that they're just super long shorts, but really, who do they think they're fooling??

Anonymous said...

Clearly, the pants are ugly as sin. However, I quite enjoyed the smorgasbord of tight butts, so thank you for that!