Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Being an adult means pretending you know what you're doing.

I admittedly felt like a bit of a badass after yesterday's MacGyvering of the garage door. Is there anything Cha Cha cannot do?

No, there is not.

Evidently, my brother and his bride-to-be took notice. Today, they asked me to officiate at their upcoming nuptials.

My response? I laughed and said, "Holy crap." But of course I agreed, because it was an honor and I think I can do a good job at this solemn task. And because I'm pretty sure they aren't going to ask me to be flower girl, which is, of course, a disappointment.

Now, you might be asking, "Uh, Cha Cha? I didn't know you're an ordained minister."

And you'd be right. I'm not. Yet. But the Internet offers many exciting options for online ordination. I don't have to take a vow of celibacy (thank you eight-pound, six-ounce baby Jesus in your golden fleece diaper). However, I'm a bit concerned that the Google results screen for "get ordained" is all, "Did you mean get organized?"

If I have to get organized in order to marry these two, this marriage is in serious jeopardy. If the Official Online Ordination Committee shows up at my house, they will take one look at the dumping ground that is my office and I will never, ever be allowed to attend a wedding ever again, much less officiate at one.

But that probably won't happen.

So, now I just have to figure out what sort of officiant to be. I know I want to drop as many old-school Old Testament names as possible. After all, "Nebuchadnezzar" is fun to say. But other than that?

Well, I have to ask ... what the hell am I doing?


JeanGenie said...

I LOVE LOVE LOVE that you're getting ordained. My husband has turned his whim of getting ordained via the internet into a part-time vocation. He demands people call him The Rev.

We were also married by a friend who got, ahem, ordained just for us. So, you're in good company.

You just really need to come up with a good title and maybe make a laminated sign for your car that tells people when you're on official Cha Cha holy business.

Anonymous said...

Thou shall become ordained with a holy heart, a heavy hand and a huge stack of documentation wherefore though shalt proclaim the name of thy forefathers and thy forebears without the sacrifice of a fattened calf named Habukuk.

Magic27 said...

I am so impressed! Something tells me that such things are not possible here in France, and I would never be able to do it myself (first, no one would ask me to, second, I'm just sooooo not an "ordained person" type of person) but seriously, I am deeply impressed - I'm sure you'll be wonderful at your brother's wedding! And, if I were ever to get married (fat chance), I'd ask you to officiate in a flash!

hope505 said...

Omg! Do you have any native americans in your family tree? Find an Indian and get ordained in the Native American Church so you can pass out peyote at the reception! I say YES!!
* ; D

mel said...

I read once that Alanis Morrisette got ordained via the 'net.

How very cool for you to do something like that for your bro!?

Also, I never hear "Nebuchadnezzar" anymore without thinking of Charlie Brown Christmas...and quoting it. Just sayin'.