Tuesday, December 13, 2011

The sun ain't gonna shine anymore.

Life as I know it is over. Oh-ver.

When I was in third grade, my dad gave me a clock radio for Christmas. It has two alarms, buttons I know by feel, and SIMULATED WOOD GRAIN.

The best part? It has a label on the top that says "SIMULATED WOOD GRAIN." You know, lest someone mistake it for real wood and try to use it as kindling.

We've been together for, umm, 28 years.

And now? My clock radio is ailing.

A few months ago, the clock gained about 20 minutes a day. I unplugged it, said a little prayer, and plugged it back in. All better.

But this weekend? This weekend, it was keeping double time. As in, it gained 12 hours a day.
As someone who likes to be places sort of on time and who is also in no way a morning person, this is a problem.

I did the ol' unplug / prayer combo again, and so far, it seems to be working. However, I can't deny it: my simulated wood grain pal is in hospice care. Our time is growing thin.

I am devastated. Did I mention that I can program this sucka by feel? And that we've been together longer than most marriages?

I was willing to be brave and look for a new clock radio. Except ... they are all horrible. I'm willing to forgo SIMULATED WOOD GRAIN, but I need a radio because a straight-up alarm freaks me out. I need a digital display because I'm blind. And I need buttons that I can aspire to operate by feel. I do not need to dock the iPod that I don't have. And I don't need to project the time onto the wall in giganto size.

So, there are some OK alarm clocks out there. But none of them are Just Right. None of them are my alarm clock. I'm embarrassed to admit that I'm truly sad about this. I guess you don't just break up with someone after 28 years without some sort of angst.

Do you have an alarm clock you love? What's it like? I'm taking suggestions.

And yes, I realize this is totally a first-world problem.


Wendy said...

I still have my Sears-brand clock radio, with simulated wood grain, that I got as a graduation gift 30 years ago! I understand how you feel... my husband has casually mentioned replacing it and I just growl at him.

Gretchen Hembree said...

We can relate!!! Ryan's clock met the floor one too many times and we were forced to get him a new one. We honestly went through 3-4 options buying, trying and returning those he didn't like. I however still have the alarm clock I commandeered from Ryan while we were still in college. I have no idea how I got it honey, but it is on my side of the bed and there it has remained..... :)

Anonymous said...

Oh, honey, I feel your pain. I still use my alarm clock that I got for Christmas when I was 12. That's also 28 years ago. Mine's not simulated wood, it's white plastic and I know I'll be sorry when it does bite the dust someday.

Magic27 said...

Having failed to ever find an alarm clock that can stay the distance (who knows how many of the stupid things I've been through in my...mumble, mumble... more than 35... a lot more... years), I have to admit to using an old mobile phone (it still works, just not as a phone) and I can pretty much do all you asked with it.
Side note: my dad once bought me the alarm clock from hell. It was designed for the blind/visually impaired (neither of which describes me, but clearly describes HIM because it was written on the box in large print and he didn't notice it) and had no radio option, just regular bip-bip-bip alarm, horribly squawky bip-bip-bip and - worst of all, by far - multi-decibel screeching ROOSTER FTLOG. Unsurprisingly, I never used it.