In honor of this Fourth of July, I'm pleased to exercise a few basic freedoms.
Last night, I exercised my freedom to rock.
Dear Def Leppard,
Pour some sugar on me, indeed.
Love, Cha Cha
Today, I exercise my freedom of speech.
Dear President Bush,
You're a puppet in the hands of evil overlords Karl Rove and Dick Cheney. As a team, I think you are despicable and ought to be ashamed for all the innocent kids you're sending to die in Iraq, of the sick people you're allowing to die right here for lack of decent health care, and of the frickin' Scooter Libby deal - among other things.
I'm glad I live in a country where I'm free to voice my extreme displeasure of your regime, and I just hope we get you and your cronies out of office before you take away that freedom too.
Eat shit and die, Cha Cha
And today I also exercise my freedom to love cheesy, sequin-encrusted performers and their sweet, sweet patriotic rock.