Like I don't feel inadequate enough already.

Now I have to worry about Martha-ing-up the Geriatric Poodle’s last days and final resting place.

And I’m sure Geriatric Poodle is bitter that I didn’t offer him the same opportunities as Martha’s beloved Paw Paw:

In addition to taking part in television commercials and several national print ads, he has been part of numerous photo shoots and is a familiar face on my television show, in my magazine, and on this blog.

Sigh. I feed him. And I did post his photo – does that count for anything?

Do I get any credit for the fact that as of yesterday, I’m now an expert on how to get nine-hour-old, crusty dog barf out of handmade, not-washer-safe quilts made with love and care by my mom? Do I earn some sort of Marthascout merit badge?

Yeah. I didn’t think so either. Maybe if I had scented the quilt with French lavender instead of just being happy it didn’t smell like Science Diet.