Friday, July 11, 2008

Ramble on to self actualization.

This has been my week:

Bitch moan work work work moan work fuss work work bitch moan.

I have been, uh, shall we say, getting worked up over stuff that's fleeting. Stuff that's just the tedium we deal with so we can get to the business of life. The business of life has nothing to do with Corporate Behemoth. It has nothing to do with deadlines and stock prices and my own personal nitpicky hell of comma placement.

Hi, I'm an editor.

No, the business of life has to do with the stuff they never cover in the news, the stuff that passes you by if you aren't paying attention. Most of the time, I don't pay attention.

I woke up painfully early this morning in an attempt to make a painfully early meeting. At 7:30, it was already so humid that I questioned my decision to take a shower. But in the damp morning sky, I saw a rainbow. Something clicked.

Later, I read a lovely story about a brother and sister, separated by the Holocaust and reunited after 66 years. Sixty-six years! Ages 83 and 73, they had no idea if the other survived until a Red Cross program - run by volunteers - helped them find each other.

The Ukrainian brother told reporters, "I don't believe anyone has ever known such happiness. Now, I truly believe I can die satisfied."

If you'll just excuse me for a moment ... I sort of need a tissue.

And because the universe is trying to tell me something ... this blog has been building my heart up with a slow crescendo. The lovely Michelle writes Diary of a Dying Mom with such honesty and bravery. I am afraid to comment because she writes such beautiful posts that I would sully them with my "Oh, hai. Me like." -style comments. Because she makes me feel that dumb. But in a good way. In a learning way - she's teaching me a lot. However, she is going to have to change the name of her blog because she's more alive than most of the people I know.

I am sequestered away for a weekend of mad freelancing (bwah-ha!) so that I can leave for vacation on Monday with a temporarily empty inbox and a light heart. Walking out of Corporate Behemoth tonight at 6 (on a Friday. yeah, I know), I felt, for the first time this week, that this light heart business might actually be a possibility.

I'm praying for a little peace and clarity. And I'm trying to remember what's really important. And it's not commas.

2 comments:

Madge said...

"Bitch moan work work work moan work fuss work work bitch moan."

OK this was the beginning of my week too. Loved this post -- could so relate. It's so hard finding the true stuff in amongst all the work stuff...

have a wonderful vacation and thanks so much for stopping by my blog.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Amen. And well said. Or writ, actually.