Alice called me at work today.
"I just got off the phone with Our Mutual Friend Who Broke The News of Bret Michaels' Brain Aneurysm."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah. I asked if he'd read your blog about Bret and wasn't it funny? And he had. But he was upset."
"Huh? Why?"
"Well, he thinks you totally phoned it in when you called him 'KG' on your blog."
"Really?"
"Yeah. He was like, 'You're Alice and that's cool, but it's like when she got to my name? It's like she didn't even TRY! And Jake's name is cool, but KG? Like, I'm not even worth the effort!"
"Oh, nooo ..."
"Yeah. Our Mutual Friend Who Broke The News of Bret Michaels' Brain Aneurysm is really bummed. He wants to be called 'Rocco.'"
Now, in my defense, the first time I wrote about Our Mutual Friend Who Broke The News of Bret Michaels' Brain Aneurysm, it was after a three-hour happy hour. He'd gotten me drunk ... how was I supposed to come up with a clever name after that?
And Rocco? Rocco is Our Mutual Friend Who Broke The News of Bret Michaels' Brain Aneurysm's dog. The luckiest dog in the universe, as Our Mutual Friend Who Broke The News of Bret Michaels' Brain Aneurysm saved him up from the pound and certain death and promptly took him to Coach, where they picked out a new leather collar more fitting for Rocco's new lifestyle.
So, basically? Our Mutual Friend Who Broke The News of Bret Michaels' Brain Aneurysm is awesome. And any non-awesome moniker simply Will. Not. Do. I will totally refer to him as Rocco and have actually gone back and changed all references to him to Rocco.
Rocco? I'm sorry.
And this has nothing to do with the fact that last week Rocco left me a voicemail that I will save forever and dip in bronze:
Hey Cha Cha. It's Rocco. My God, you are so funny. I swear to God, of all those bloggers that end up becoming famous because of their blogs and end up writing books and shit? They're just poseurs compared to you. That's what you should be doing. I feel like you need to just drop this Corporate Behemoth act ...
Sometimes? Sometimes, you just need to hear that. Thanks.
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5 comments:
So, lemme get this straight...Rocco's dog is Rocco and he wants to be named after his dog on your blog? Man, that dog is totally rockin' if his peeps want his name!
Umm ... yeah, Mel, you got it. Rocco's human wants to be called Rocco in BlogLand.
Um. that's pretty sweet. Also, for whatever reason, should I ever be so lucky as to be mentioned on your blog (which is near impossible) I call Stella. For real.
Also, I promise I'm not a stalker.
Rocco is weird. The person wanting to be named after his dog, not the dog. The dog is nice.
Rocco--I'll never forget that name now!
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