Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The royal wedding: a primer.

Kate? You and I have a lot in common, both being April brides and all. Honestly? I’m really glad that it’s been more than two weeks since my wedding. It’s only fair that the hubbub around my day has worn off a bit so that you can have your own day in the sun. I hope you don’t think this is presumptuous, but I thought I’d share what I learned during my wedding. You know, so you can make the most of your big day.

Wear flats. Seriously. I wore these Borns and my feet felt happy all night.
Take a nap. I snoozed for about an hour before I started getting my hair and make-up done. It was cool. Otherwise? My parents and I would just have been sitting around looking at each other and being nervous. While I slept, my dad watched Indiana Jones and The Raiders of the Lost Ark. Everybody wins.

Try to talk to everyone. They got dressed up and got babysitters and bought a gift for you.

Try to thank everyone, especially the waitstaff and DJ and all those other folks that often get overlooked but are critical to a successful wedding. One of the best hugs I got all night was from the woman who waited on us during dinner. I wanted to put her in my pocket and take her home.

Make peace with the crazy. I don’t mean to make assumptions about your family or the royal clan, buuuuuut … let’s say you’re me. And a fair number of your extended family has outed themselves as batshit crazy in the last, oh, 10 years. These people will be at your wedding. And batshit crazy generally doesn’t take a holiday, even for important events like weddings. Leave it be. Smile graciously in the face of the batshit crazy, and know that you will have lots to laugh about later with your groom.

Be prepared for the bridal suite. No, I’m not talking about sexytime. I’m talking about snacks and slippers and utensils. Because you will be starving. And even if you’ve been wearing flats, you’ll be delighted to be reunited with your slippers.

Admit defeat early. Know that you cannot host a freakin’ brunch the day after the wedding. Luckily, many wise women advised me that I was smoking crack if I attempted such a thing, and they were right. The day after the wedding, My Guy and I lounged about in the hotel room, eating wedding cake and watching Major League on cable TV. It was perfect. And I had zero desire to see anyone or talk to anyone or smile at anyone except my new husband.

Have fun. When everybody says it goes so fast? Dude. They are so, so right. So be in the moment. And make it fun. We made our grand entrance to Neil Diamond’s “America.” And one of my favorite moments was hearing the low intro build and build … and then hearing my brother cackle in recognition and approval. Was it perfect by magazine standards? Hell no. Was it perfect for us?

Well, my auntie drew an X on my ring finger with a ballpoint pen so that My Guy would know which finger the ring went on.

My Guy flubbed his vows, and so tagged on that he promised to trip over words during important public speeches.

I held my dad’s hand so tightly that he’s just now regaining feeling.

Our sweet officiant got emotional and lost his place in the ceremony.

We were absolutely overwhelmed by the love and support and joy of the people who came out to support us.
So, yes. Yes, it was perfect for us.
Kate? May you also be so lucky.


Cyndi B. said...

So so cool to see pictures and hear how wonderful it was! Congratulations to you...a long a happy life to you both!

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

You had your Daddy Neil there! LOVE it! Oh, Cha Cha, it sounds like you made it a wonderful day for everyone--full of your generous humor and love--I'm sure everyone left feeling pleased to have shared it with you and "My Guy." (not MY Guy, but YOUR Guy) I bet even the waitstaff will talk about yours as one of the "good ones" as these occasions go...maybe Kate will be as lucky as you. Hopefully she won't curse during a national broadcast of it...

Slow Panic said...

I love these photos. Honestly, I'm not sure why Kate isn't flying you over as her personal consultant.

You two look so happy! What a lovely day.

Banjo @ Unfabulousness said...

Oh, it looked like you were glowing! Congrats ChaCha!

drawer queen said...

Thanks for the pictures!! You look amazing and the dress is so beautiful. You will always love that style, it is timeless and you will never have to hide your wedding album from people because your dress is so ugly! (not that I know anything about that)

LaDue & Crew said...

You are crazy gorgeous! Wow,to have your figure now,I would give anything for. Your day sounded so blessed, and you deserve every bit of it ;)

Sara said...

It sounds like it was an amazing day!! Congratulations again!! I'm fairly certain the Royal can't compete with that level of awesome-ness....


Congrats. I haven't been blogging or reading for some times now and had to check in on you. Glad you are now married and happy. Love the photo with the slippers and hubs comment. Funny....

Mrs. Hall said...

sent this to my sister in law who is getting married in a few months. this is the only advice/article I'm sending her because this post right here


milk shooting out of the nose funny.

especially the part about bat shit crazy relatives. because man o man. we got 'em too!

best to just smile and keep going!!


Rach (DonutsMama) said...

This post cracked me up! Brought back memories of my wedding and I'm in total agreement with you. Yes, it goes by fast, yes you're starving when you get to your room (starving for food that is!) and I wore flip-flops at my reception b/c my feet were killing me!