Yes. It's that time of year again. The time of year when the labradoodles sometimes stay inside because it's cool or rainy. The time of year when Lady Doodle gets bored and pissed off and so acts out.
If I were to submit a photo to Dogshaming, it could be this one:
- You know that scarf that you've spent hours knitting for my dad? Yeah. I ate it. I simply cannot abide knitting needles in my house. Rage! I am filled with rage!
- You know your favorite gloves, the really nice ones with the Thinsulate? The ones you got on sale? Yeah. I ate one of 'em. It was taunting me. Don't let the bows in my hair fool you - I am a wrathful bitch.
- Remember that time you were bragging to my dad that you'd gone to the dentist and had a new toothbrush and it was yours and he couldn't use it? Yeah. I ate it. Hubris got cha!
- Remember how you were feeling all smug because you got a bunch of Christmas shopping done? Yeah. I ate one of those gifts. Hubris in da house!
- Do I even need to mention how I feel about your new throw pillows? Yeah. Didn't think so. Good luck picking up all those feathers.
Seriously - so little time. All of this shit has gone down in the last month - and yes, my kid acting out does coincide with me going back to work. I know. I know!
I'm working, and I'm busy dealing with the intense shame of having to tell a librarian that my dog ate my library book. Well, and my disappointment in her response when I mentioned Dog Shaming. She was all, "People submit photos with signs? What's the point?"
At this point I died a little. "Umm ... it's funny."
She continued processing my credit card. "Oh - OK."
And then I proceeded to tell her that she totally needed to get fitted for a bra because she had quadraboob. OK, not really. But I wanted to. Something tells me she would not have found the humor in the situation.
Make me feel better. What's your dog done lately that's been insane?
First 2 images courtesy of dog-shaming.com. Go there. Laugh. Because it is funny.