There's a scourge invading our homeland. No, I'm not talking about Kardashians. It's worse.
I'm talking about the once-normal women who have morphed into 1-dimensional, perfect little fembots. I call them The Talbots.
These women are well-dressed in completely unobjectional attire. Their highlights are always within the bounds of good taste. Their husbands are well-employed and their children look like something out of a Tommy Hilfiger catalog. The homes? Pottery Barn and Restoration Hardware, but of course.
So, that part is annoying. And boring. But the real issue I have with The Talbots? They talk. All the time. About nothing at all.
Small talk is the game and your neighborhood Talbot is the grand champion. She will talk your ear off about what kid is going to what school and did you hear about her friends that you don't know, well they sold their house, and isn't it just great? It's all just great.
Here's the thing: there are some people who are just superficial, or dead inside, or whatever. And that's their thing, and it's cool - although I've never met anyone who said, "I'm dead inside and it's cool."
No, the rub is that the Talbots I know weren't always like this. They used to be interesting, engaged, educated women. Now?
Now, I want to stab myself in the eardrum when I see them coming.
Tell me what you're reading. Tell me a dirty joke. Tell me how the dog had diarrhea and half the family walked through it. Tell me anything that's real and authentic. But don't tell me everything is great and perfect and wonderful and also great. I don't believe you. In fact, I feel sorry for you.
I know it's easy for women to get lost in the roles of mother and wife. But it seems like some of my peers haven't so much gotten lost as turned into Stepford succubi completely devoid of personality.
I recognize that we are constantly reinventing ourselves, even when we have no idea what comes next.
But I also know that I miss some women who are here physically but mentally have left the building.
Be ugly. Just be real. And don't be a Talbot. The world needs you - the real you.