Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Somewhat unavailable.

Two weeks ago, Alice left me a breathless voicemail.

"Cha Cha! It's Alice. Listen. I went out with some girls from the Chamber last night, and it turns out that a guy in our program has gotten divorced. I had no idea he was getting divorced, but now he's looking to meet some nice young ladies and I can't wait for you guys to meet!"

Turns out that Divorced Guy was married for ... 18 years. And has two teenagers. But Alice adores him, and if he was married for 18 years, he should be housebroken. Which is more than I can say about some folks who shall remain nameless.


I have found myself actually excited about meeting this guy. The idea of trying new folks on for size is appealing. Like a movie, I'm curious to know how it's all going to work out.

So, Alice has been meaning to introduce me to Divorced Guy. She called me at work this morning with an update.

She had called Divorced Guy and there was small talk. Then? Sweet Alice said, "So, I understand you're divorced."

And strangely, Divorced Guy was completely silent.

She continued, "Well, I have this really great friend ..."

She talked about me and said some nice stuff. And finally, Divorced Guy cut her off. Turns out, he's not Divorced Guy at all. He's Separated And Not Sure What's Going to Happen But Definitely Not Dating Guy.

Now, to his credit, he apologized for the misinformation and told Alice that he was ultimately responsible for any information about his personal life that was floating about. I found that to be incredibly classy.

But Alice's description of what happened next provided my ab workout for the day.

She told me, "You know how sometimes you can hear yourself talk? And you know you need to stop talking? But you can't? It was totally like that! He told me that if he's ever single, he'd definitely want to meet you, but then I just couldn't stop talking and I told him that you'd had a run of bad dating luck - although I didn't tell him that you dated that ass Ex-Ex for seven years - and that I hoped that you'd find someone to have fun with before he gets his act together, I mean, if he gets divorced, which I don't necessarily hope for him, you guys would have a lot of fun, but you need someone to have fun with now, and so he isn't a lot of help, and I feel terrible and I just couldn't stop talking!"

Alice is poised. Alice wears pantyhose every single day. And Alice makes me laugh like it's going out of style.

And really? We should all be so lucky to have a friend who is willing to go out on a limb - and even end up making a minor fool of themselves - for us. Thanks, Alice.


LaDue & Crew said...

Alice has a good heart- so looking out for you. Isn't it cool that you are not in this search alone..?! I have peeps for you, too... but with over 1000 miles between everyone, I think it would be a wee difficult...

Hubby and I will be married 4 years on March 26. Known each other for 11. Had to kick him to the curb and start dating others before he realized he committed a big faux paux. Don't know where I was going with that thought, but I'm sure it had a point... crap.

AnastasiaSpeaks said...

I love Alice already!!! How sweet.

Madge said...

Alice is Awesome. I have now done my allotted alliteration for the day -- twice.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Poor Alice. I can imagine how she felt. But good for her to keep an eye out for you. Here's to the winner bound to land in your lap. (Housetrained--even better.)

Linda Crispell said...

My day wouldn't be complete without putting my foot in my mouth a couple dozen times. My middle name is awkward.

Tumble Fish Studio said...

Oh, my little Cha Cha . . . how I've missed you and thought about you. I couldn't bring myself to blog read while away - had to avoid getting any more home and blog-sick. So, I knew I would have a lot to catch up on with you. Holy moly woman you are so prolific at living life and soaking it up and then sharing such beautiful real perspectives on what passes by most of us. It will take me awhile to catch up with you.

So, today the really important things need to be addressed . . . CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR FRANKFURTER! Yay! How exciting and what a smile it brought to my heart to see your new little buddy! I love him!

And, I need to thank you for all of your friendship and support. You were with me, girl, I mean really with me these last two weeks and I drew a lot of strength from knowing you were there. I can't thank you enough for all you have given me and for how you have touched and affected my life. I will be sending your package next week - I am so long overdue but I will get it done. I love you!