Sunday, March 28, 2010

Once, twice, three times a lady.

Both Poochie and I were home with the 'rents this weekend. No particular reason - just keepin' it real.

Real as in I made $10. Cash.

Poochie paid me. To eat a dog treat.


If you have dogs, you probably know all about Greenies. They're green bones and dogs freak out over them. As my dad so accurately noted, it's like they're made of heroin.

Poochie pulled $14 out of his shirt pocket, smoothed the bills, and laid them out on the kitchen counter. "Cha Cha, I have $14 here. If you eat a Greenie, it's yours."

Stupid me? I was all, "OK!"

I guess there's something about being around my sibling that makes me revert back to, oh, about junior high.

My mom looked like she was going to pass out - laughing so hard she was crying. Before I popped the treat into my mouth, I read the ingredients list. When I got to "chicken tendon," we all sort of agreed that $14 wasn't quite enough. So Poochie ripped the treat in half and offered $10.

Side note: the Greenies site doesn't list chicken tendon, but "natural poultry flavor" in the ingredients list. Whatever. CHICKEN TENDON.

I popped the green snack in my mouth and chewed. And chewed and chewed some more. It tasted like dog food, but not disgusting. It's not like it was rotten or made of pickles or anything gross like that. It just tasted ... sort of eww. And dear God in heaven, was it ever chewy. Chewy, like Poochie began taunting me that it would be stuck in my teeth and so I'd relive the experience over and over again. However, my teeth would be clean and my breath would be oh-so-fresh.

Finally, I got the treat down. And I pocketed my winnings.

Later, I texted My Guy about my feat. Surely I am the woman of his dreams, right?

His response was simply, "Too sexy."

Damn straight.

What's the grossest thing you've ever done at the prompting of your siblings?


Sara said...

IO used to be a store manager for Old Navy. Once, I paid of of the keyholders $3 to put a git dust bunny in his mouth and hold it there for 10 seconds. He totally did. Also, I heart your blog.

Trixie Bang Bang said...

I knew a guy once who made $100 eating an Alpo sammich! He insisted it be sliced and fried, ala Spam, wolfed it down (get it??!), pocketed his Benjamin, smacked his lips and asked for another, please. Of course, he WAS in Jr. High and usually High :)
Keep the Sexy comin', Your Guy won't know what hit him!

Trixie Bang Bang said...

OH! I also paid a girl to eat part of a banana peel once! I am more of the instigator than the eater. I think she made a cool $3 off me, but that was back in '84, so you're about on par with $10.

nestra said...

Not grossest but stupidest.. I jumped off the roof at the urging of my two brothers. My Mom was due home soon and my oldest bro broke the limb we used to get up there. Anyway, I landed with one foot in a hole, woke up on the ground with my whole back tingling. Their only comment, "You have snot all over your face."

I blame them for the current state of my back.

星美 said...


Anonymous said...

Oh oh ew!
Money is NOT worth it for me. Yep, simply NOT.

jenn said...

I was more of the one who goaded my younger brother into doing bizarre things and rarely ever the goadee.

Magic27 said...

I'm devastated to have to confess that...gulp...I'm an only child and never had this dubious "pleasure". To be fair, from where I'm sitting, this appears to be a GOOD THING. I can't imagine how much you'd have to pay me to eat even one of my cat's biscuit-things...