Friday, January 7, 2011

I used to be a blogger.

I don't even know where to begin.

So, we got our house. And we knew it was dirty, right? But I had no idea that it would take me three days to clean the kitchen.

Not kidding. Three days.

Or that the lime-green paint in the bathroom was some weird paint so that when I painted over it and pulled up the painter's tape? My paint pulled up with the tape.

And I had no idea that Lady Doodle would have massive diarrhea in my house. Or after her recovery, Lil' Frankfurter would pick up the torch with vomiting and diarrhea. And I certainly didn't anticipate that I would also puke my guts out, either from the power of suggestion or from an ulcer.

Yeah, I barfed. Wouldn't three houses and four poopy dogs make you sick to your stomach?

The great thing about my partnership with My Guy is that we take turns FREAKING THE FUCK OUT. This has been my week. And I've really done a bang-up job, if I do say so myself.

I woke up yesterday thinking, "No, no thank you. I don't care to move or get married or take care of two new dogs or interact with any human - including My Guy - ever again. I don't wish anybody ill, I'm just ... done. I'm all set. Thanks for asking."

But then I peeled myself out of bed and poured more anti-nausea meds down Lil' Frank's throat. I almost forgot that the pup was so upset at the vet that he'd literally shat on my person.

And then I went to Corporate Behemoth. And I guess I still have multiple houses and a fiance and a wedding date and four dogs. And it's OK.

In other news? Remember when Banjo asked, "Where was Krampus in all of this?"

Oh, Krampus the Christmas Frog. Of course he made an appearance during the holidays. Several appearances, actually.

This was my favorite.

Hey - a frog's gotta do what a frog's gotta do.

And yes, everything is about poop.


Unknown said...

Hang in there Cha Cha. You and Your Guy have a lot on your shoulders right now, but better days are ahead. You can only go up from here, right? And think how happy the 6 of you will be when you are settled in your new, amazing home.

Patti said...

When we moved in to our house we started cleaning the old gas stove (complete with griddle in the center) and as we disassembled it to scrub, we found a dried out old pork chop. HOW do you lose a whole pork chop and not know? I really understand what you are going through!

Also, freaking out is a good release valve. It will all work out just fine. Soon you will have touched every surface in your new house and it will be completely yours. And 27 years later you may be painting a room for the 8th time and begin considering growing pot in the basement and peeing on the walls for some variety.

itsjustme said...

Sometimes it really freaks me out how similar our lives are. Really. Have you noticed how much of my life has been a bout poop and such lately?

I feel for you more than you can imagine. I am sending you hugs. Hang in there. Just push through ONE day at a time.

Anonymous said...

A good match--when you take turns freaking out. I hope your poop/paint/puke nightmare winds down soon. meanwhile, thanks for the shot of Krampus--that made my day!

8 said...

I would be freaking out too....... this shall pass soon enough. Keep your chin up ChaCha. You and MyGuy can handle this.
BTW: LOVE LOVE LOVE me some Krampus... nice to see him!

you gotta wonder said...

One of the things that's kept my marriage intact over the last 25+ years is the gift of alternating freak-outs. Freak-outs or other forms of flakiness, anyway. Hang tough, girl.

Oh, and drawer_queen? I'm laughing at the thought of that missing chop and the image of the chef saying "where did it go? It was here just a minute ago!"

Laura said...

Ahh, Krampus, how I have missed thee.

I am living a similar fate right now (well, without the super awesome My Guy fiance.) I bought an old house that five kids under the age of ten lived in. With a mom who apparently didn't understand the value of cleaning. In years. A little too many bodily fluids in my life these days. My gag reflex has been in overdrive.

Don't worry . . . poop and stress free times are ahead for all of us. I have faith. And booze.

Gretchen Hembree said...

Cha cha,
We love you. Keep your chin up and remember the sun will come out tomorrow. Although it may only be 7 degrees, it will be sunny! :)

I promise it will all pay off and get better!!!!!