Sunday, July 29, 2012

Dog lover or mentally unstable mess?

I’ve been thinking about volunteer opportunities. Basically, I need to get out of my rut of hating my job and hating everything because it’s, like, 847 degrees all the damned time. Also, I think a chance to do a little nurturing will help me figure out this whole “we’re probably never getting knocked up” thing.

It’s complicated.

I’ve researched helping socialize dogs at 2 different animal shelters. I could just hang out with dogs! I like dogs a lot! I am good with dogs! It would be a win / win!

Gratuitous dog photo

Except both my mom and My Guy had the exact same reaction:

“Shaaa, riiiiiiight. That would be the worst volunteer match-up ever. You’d adopt, like, every single dog.”

Actually, I believe My Guy added a healthy dose of “oh, helllll no” to his response. Given that he lives with 4 dogs, I guess it’s understandable that he’d have a really intense reaction.

But, see? I could go, work with the dogs, and then go home. I’m not dumb enough to believe that I could work at a kill shelter. I’m talking about a super low-kill shelter, and only working with the dogs who need to be socialized so that they can find their forever homes. It would be like I was running a finishing school for debutantes, but we’d work on not shitting on people instead of, you know, which fork to use.

My Guy was gentle, but firm. “Your heart is just too big,” he said. “You’d bring all those dogs home, and we already have too many. You know there’s undiscovered pee somewhere in our house. We have too many dogs, and only 1 of them isn’t an asshole.”

I considered this. I do have a track record of adopting special-needs (read: cute but completely untrainable) canines. I will not comment on how this also correlates to my choice of husband.

“Are you saying that without you, I’d become an animal hoarder?”

My cute husband got that evil little lying smile. “Your parents and I talk about it all the time,” he said. “I saved you from being a hoarder. You were 1 marriage away from being on that show. Your folks are always thanking me for saving you from being knee-deep in poo and dogs.”


Considering that I am somewhat fastidious about keeping the level of filth in my home to a mere yellow on the Homeland Security threat level chart, I find this hard to believe. But maybe my husband and my mama have a point.

Any tips? Ideas for other volunteer opportunities that might be less likely to get me my own humiliating show on TLC?


Angie said...

What about something to do with writing, books or literacy? Or inspiring young women to be as kick-butt as you? :)

Rainbow Motel said...

I wish I did. Our animal population is currently at 2 dogs, 5 cats and a snake. It's why I can't watch those sad ASPCA commercials where Sarah McLaughlin sings so sadly. It makes me want to either adopt every abused animal I see...or simply lie down underneath the car to take a nap.

Dorrie said...

You could put your one non-A-hole dog to work and train to be a therapy dog. Pet therapy. Everyone needs it and everyone benefits from it. It might also encourage some people to adopt a dog.

Banjo @ Unfabulousness said...

If youa re trying to get away from "pet" related volunteering you could try Girl Scouts, the local senior center, the parks and rec department, or the local water shed. They do like replanting and stream clean up. I am sure whatever you do will rock out! Any organization would benefit from having you involved!

B-kat said...

Cha Cha your calling is Habitat for Humanity - think of all the hands-on experience you already have!

Sandee Astrachan said...

The library!