Sunday, September 23, 2012

Yeah, I'm rewriting the dictionary.

hubris [hyoo-bris], noun
1. excessive pride or feeling like a bad-ass mobster, especially in cases where one believes they have triumphed over rodents when, in fact, 1 dead rodent does not mean the end of an infestation
2. arrogance ultimately leading to the karmic fall of rodent-fighters; see also Cha Cha thought 1 dead mouse meant there were no more mice in her house except that for 2 days after that, she woke to find mouse shit in her silverware drawer and so had to hardcore clean her kitchen multiple times and come up with innovative ways to fight mice and should probably just give up and move because c'mon - mice in the silverware drawer

Related terms
mouse-poo-blindness [are-yoo-freaking-kidding-meeee], noun - inability to see mouse shit in silverware drawer, resulting in using poo-infested silverware for breakfast 3 days in a row; infamously practiced by Cha Cha's husband, who gets up before she does

nuclear warfare [noo-klee-ur-warfair-muthafuckah], noun - combination of peppermint oil, steel wool and snap-your-head-off-you-dirty-rodent-skank mouse traps; infamously practiced by Cha Cha; often used in conjunction with liquor consumption


jan said...

I feel your pain. And your rage. I once lived in a house that backed up to a park which backed up to a creek. Every fall, after the weather got chilly, the mice would look for a warm place to make their home. Often, it was in my home. Of our three dogs, only the wiener dog would alert when the traps were sprung, but with her help, I caught 20 mice in one 24 hour period. Long handled barbeque tongs allowed me to dispose of the traps. Peanut butter is the best bait. It does not have to be Jif.

B-kat said...

Body count in my attached garage since Saturday is up to THREE!!! It creeps me out. I know they are just inches from infiltrating my silverware drawer!! I use the glue traps that make into a box so I don't have to see their nasty little necks snapped. I also use the BBQ tong method and a plastic grocery bag- I don't care if they're dead, I'm not touchin' them!! The garbage can stinks to high heaven, and garbage day is Wednesday - PEW!!

Dorrie said...

A friend of mine puts the traps in a brown lunch bag, so when they are caught, she just picks up the bag and tosses in the garbage.

You will get them all. We caught 7 under our range one year.

8 said...

I am doing the heebeejeebee dance as I read this post. Ugh. Sorry for your 4 stumpy legged infestation. If I were closer I would grab my pitchfork and help, liquored up of course. There is NO other way to handle rodents.

Anonymous said...

Oh dear. Yes, there's never only one mouse. They travel in packs and they are jack-nasty.