Friday, September 5, 2008

Yeah, you should be jealous.

Two of the last three nights, I’ve dreamt that the Geriatric Poodle got kidnapped. In the first dream, I took him to the movies (which he will obviously enjoy, what with being blind and deaf). We saw Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day. At the end of the movie, he was gone.

I finally found him tucked inside the coat of some man I didn’t know. I got him back. The man was nonplussed.

When I woke up, I was upset, then I realized that no one would want a blind and deaf geriatric poodle. And that made me sad.

Last night, I dreamt an acquaintance got in trouble at work, and had to offer up Geriatric Poodle to make good on whatever he messed up. I had to go to City Hall to get my dog back.

Makes sense, obviously.

On one hand, the dog is putting on weight and has a spring in his step. On the other, he doesn’t always eat, still doesn’t settle down, and … I’m dreaming about him dying.

There. I said it.

But everything’s fine, because at work? At work, all of the Indian guys have started calling me the wrong name. Consistently. Out loud and via e-mail.

Yes.

Usually, I’m Char Char and it’s fine. I am too completely inept in all languages but English to throw stones. But lately? Lately, I’ve become Gladys. I will send out an e-mail, sign it “Cha Cha” and include my “Cha Cha, Czarina of Editorial Whoopass” super-impressive e-mail signature footer.

And the replies? “Dear Gladys …”

Someone keeps stealing my dog, my coworkers don’t know my name, and my hair looks like circa-1982 Joyce Dewitt. Huzzah!

Oh. And my boyfriend says he thinks we might want to take a break from each other while I straighten out my life / work balance issues.

So, yeah, there’s that, too.

5 comments:

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Oh honey. I wish I could send you cookies and a masseuse who looks like Brad Pitt.

Linda Crispell said...

Perhaps your hair is not quite Joyce DeWitt but resembles Gladys Kravitz? I'm quite sure Bewitched is in reruns in India. That would explain the name mix-up. Why don't you start calling them Abner?

I saw Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day, and the theater was overflowing with blind deaf poodles, coincidence? They do tend to chomp their popcorn quite loudly.

ZenCrafter said...

My dear Cha Cha,

Since I seem to dispense advice to perfect strangers who share the same nickname as my favorite aunt so freely, let me suggest the following, in no particular order:
(1) that a perfect work/life balance would involve lying on a beach somewhere with your laptop and whipping out that novel you've got in ya;
(2) that I agree with Linda that the oh-so-subtle and clever hazing by the Indian guys in your office should be reciprocated in kind. Edgar or Wally (but "The Beave" might be risking sexual harassment territory) would work just as nicely as Abner, I think.
(2)Joyce Dewitt rocks!! She's aged much more gracefully than Chrissy. Google Image her to see if I'm not right.

Have a great week, and don't let the a-holes get you down!

ZenCrafter said...

Oh, and is your poodle perchance French? Maybe you should rent a nice French film. Perhaps he would like Manon of the Spring, or Amelie?

Sister Big said...

Dear Cha Cha-

We miss you. Please write.