I'm just gonna come out and say it.
Corporate Behemoth is stressing me out.
Or, rather, I'm choosing to be stressed out by Corporate Behemoth. It's making me brittle. Brittle and crabby. Brittle and crabby, yet subdued.
Today, I came home to find that Lil' Frankfurter, little angel that he is, discovered that by gnawing on the cushion in his kennel, he can access mounds and mounds and mounds of fiberfill. This is also the same sort of fiberfill that I occasionally find in his poop. It's the sort of fiberfill that makes his mama crazy.
Along with the cushion destruction, there's also Lil' Frank's proven ability to chew on his blankets and the fact that he's gone through six water dishes in the last year. Water dishes of hard plastic. He gets mad and breaks the brackets that hold them to the kennel.
Yes, my dog looks like a rabid hound from the lowest depths of Dante's Inferno. Yes, my dog weighs seven pounds. Yes, that's a lot of destruction per pound of dachshund.
So, I cleaned up the fiberfill and inspected the latest water dish. Then, I realized that the kid is sending me a message: he's just annoyed with his daily surroundings and routine. He needs more enrichment.
Like me!
So, basically, Lil' Frank just trashed his cubicle.
I'm now having visions of really sticking it to Corporate Behemoth. I'll chew up all the papers in my cube and leave the frustration confetti everywhere. I'll break my office chair and knock my monitor off the desk. And then, when I'm reprimanded? I'll follow Lil' Frank's lead and look innocent and adorable.
Sounds like a plan, right? Right?
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8 comments:
Look at you, going pro with the ads! :)
Ugh...sorry that CB is stressing you out. Have you considered going postal on the fax machine, Office Space style?
ROTFLMAO That boy does know how to destroy the shit out of his cubicle. Sabrina and Buddy do the same thing . . .in fact I had to use crystal bowls for their food dishes because they were the only things a. too heavy for them to carry outside and b. they could not destroy. Sigh.
Please take a videographer if you do go doggie style on the office . . .(that sounds bad but you know what I mean)
I'm sure you will feel better!
So the five steps of boredom would be 1. anger 2. destruction 3. remorse 4. tail wagging 5. treats.
What shall you do to enrich Lil' Frank's life?
More importantly, how will you enrich yours?
Let me know if that destruction works for you, because if it does...I'm so going to try it!
The sun is out today here...a good sign! Hang in there!
You have to plan this out really well: if CB thinks this is a "nervouse breakdown" episode you could get some quality time off out of the deal. Make sure to have your escape plan mapped out and no foaming at the mouth. That might cause suspicion!
Don't forget to pee on the rug before you go...
* ; p
And seriously...that is the best doxie picture EV.ER. *hahaha!* The HELLHOUND!! & omg the inside of your dog's mouth is BLACK! How freaky and cool is that?!
That pic of Lil Frankfurter is tooooo adorable. And I don't think looking cute and innocent will work.
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