Thursday, January 5, 2012

An open letter to whomever wallpapered our bathroom.

Dear Wallpaper Man or Maven -

I don't know whether to punch you in the mouth or shake your hand.

You know how sometimes wallpaper comes off in big strips, and sometimes it comes off in teensy, tiny little shards?

Yeah.

The wallpaper you put up lo those 20 years ago falls into the latter category. That shit is stuck to the wall like white on rice. And my meager attempts to scrape it off resulted not in big sheets of sweet, sweet relief, but in teeny razors of emotional pain. Itsy bits of blue metallic paisley paper that pollute my life and stand between me and a remodeled bathroom.

I respect your wallpaper hanging prowess. But don't you ever, ever come near my home ever again.

Peace out -

Cha Cha

5 comments:

Cyndi B. said...

I think the inventor of wallpaper should be smacked. Never have understood why it's used.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

I removed wallpaper once and it convinced me to NEVER paper a single wall EVER.

Janet said...

Oh, there is very little in the home improvement world that is worse than removing wallpaper! I feel your pain.

Joan said...

Soak it with water and fabric softener...might work!

sherilee said...

What Joan said. No need to be in pain, fill a spray bottle with fabric softener and water--can't remember the ratio but I bet Google knows--and spray liberally. Come back in 10 minutes with some scraping device--I actually used a pastry scraper once but anything metal with a strong edge will do. Scrape away! Messy, sure, but so satisfying.