So, what do you do after you've had to put your dog down? And you've been holed up in your house, being listless and full of despair?
What you do is you take your nasty, yoga-pants wearing, skanky-hair-having self to T.J.Maxx.
Yes.
And you spend $145 on a dress, 2 workout shirts, a purse, 3 pillows, and a package of drink napkins (because a good hostess is always prepared and a smart girl never buys those full-price).
You realize that this trip to discount paradise is your first foray into the world in quite some time that hasn't been grocery- or veterinarian-related. You also realize that you have done nothing but care for, clean up after, and grieve your dog.
Your husband wasn't kidding when he repeatedly implored you to, "Get out of this god-forsaken house, fer chrissakes!"
So, the next day, you challenge yourself a bit more. You wash and dry your hair. You go to Target and the library. Expanding to more than 1 errand is exhausting. However, you must hedge your bets, hoping that if you run into someone you know, it will be on this clean-hair-having day. Plus, you wore a cute outfit.
The day after that, you have lunch with a friend. This is also exhausting, because being engaged is difficult when you have a hole in your chest. But the hole is different - bottomless, sure. But not quite as raw. Just different.
After lunch, you get your hair cut and colored. Because surely you will be leaving your house on the regular, and it's sort of a public service. Plus, your mama always made you wash your hair when you were a kid and under the weather. She said, "Clean hair can do miracles and make a girl feel so much better."
It was true for chronic tonsillitis, and it's true for all kinds of heartbreak, too.
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4 comments:
Your hair looks fabulous!
That is what a friend told me when I was having a super crappy day in the midst of a tough season. (Our house was for sale, my mom was dying, my 18yo needed a neurological diagnosis that we had failed to attain yet again, my blood pressure was through the roof and I was broken out in a terribly itchy rash from the stress.)
And you know what? It helped, being told that my hair looked good.
So did ice cream. I recommend that, too, and a friend who listens to your pain and offers you her shoulder for your tears.
You'll always miss your Lady Doodle, but the pain will become less raw. And that is a good thing. ♥
oh, gosh, yes, mourning needs something like shopping...
Yep, that's just how it goes. And our mamas were right - clean hair does make a girl feel better.
Keep on keepin' on. I'm not sure the hole ever gets any smaller but the edges do become less sharp.
Atta girl. I think you're smart to take those baby steps back out there.
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