Saturday, December 13, 2008

Because the people demand an update.

Ok, not really.

But some of you may recall my trials and tribulations as I attempted to grow out my formerly pixie haircut. As anyone who has grown out a shortshortshort hairstyle can attest, it went through a very pelt-like helmet stage.

And then, it was just fine. I was making progress. I felt like I had options. My hair was the one thing going right in my world in the month of October. But then it started to feel like late 80s Bon Jovi. When really, it looked like late 90s Bon Jovi.

And one day, in my quest to not sit alone on my couch and sob, I sat on a couch and read magazines at a salon while Alice got her hair colored. She and I have both been going to the same salon for a few months, and our insane stylist is, well, insane. She dazzles us with stories of her porn star roommate. And when asked about the then-upcoming election, she laughed, "Oh, honey, I can't vote - I'm a felon!"

So, Crazy Stylist and Alice - with the help of reading beauty magazines for three hours - convinced me that I should make an appointment and get the mulletasticness cut off and just clean up the rest. The growing out was going fine, I just needed to clean up the edges to keep it presentable. Oh, and go for a chocolate color to winterize my light brown hair.

I went back four days later. Crazy Stylist looked at my hair, then announced that I needed strawberry highlights in lieu of chocolate because I have strawberry tones anyway, and it would be easier to maintain.

So I sat with foil on my head and read magazines for an hour. And then she washed my hair, and started cutting.

Now, I have very, very thick hair, so even if I'm just getting a trim, it seems like there's a whole lot of cutting going on.

There was a whole lot of cutting going on. A whole lot.

Finally, I was like, "Umm, how much are you cutting? You know I'm growing it out?"

Crazy Stylist laughed. "Not anymore! I love it when girls come in after bad break-ups, because they are up for anything! Cut that man right outta my hair!"

I was shell shocked. My hair was back to its pelt stage!

I went home and sobbed. Just because I could. I knew that it was actually a cute haircut, but, well, I was directing my emotion about other things onto my not-what-I-expected hair.

It's since grown out a bit, and actually looks pretty good. The back needs to be cleaned up again. I think I'm going to aim for a very short, tucked-behind-the-ears sort of bob. Because if Linda Evangelista can pull this off, then obviously it will also be a good look for me.

It's good to have goals.


Tumble Fish Studio said...

Ooooohhhhh, I wish I could post pictures with my comment - Cha Cha, you and I are cut from the same cloth. Okay, lllooonnnggg comment . . . I used to have big, I MEAN BIG, midwestern hair. Very thick, very long, wavy, dark, dark brown - blew dry it upside down, hot rolled it, and teased - we're talkin' BIG. Well, something possessed me two months after I got married (20 years ago), to cut it like Demi Moore's in Ghost - very very short and dyed black. My new husband was a little taken aback but I still had a body then to make up for my lack of hair - and by the way, back then in the midwest, other parts of our bodies did not get custom waxing color-dyed shapes either. So, I had hair just not the headache inducing mane. Well, I grew it out again with a Dorothy Hamil (don't know how to spell that) wedge that I just let get longer until it was a "bob". Many years later, my daughter is born and I cut it off again! I grow it out again, this time with your mentioned mullet manuever but finally get it all one length. Then, in second grade my daughter got lice. My hair is very, very thick and corkscrew curly when it is long and I knew there was no way I was going to get lice out of my hair if I got it. We had a heck of a time getting it out of her's. So, we cut her hair off into a Dorothy Hamil wedge. She cried so much, I cut mine too. I have never tried to grow it out since and that was 9 years ago. Recently, having moved and needing to find a new hair styler, I got my short hair cut as I do every few weeks. Oh my lord, you would think with short hair there wouldn't be a lot that could go wrong. There was and I cried and cried - I asked for chunky, spiky, messy, wispy (even brought pictures) and I got Q-tip - so short, rounded smooth there was nothing that could be done - not even an inch long. My son told me that at least Q-tips were the cutest of toiletries. It has grown out some in the last two months to about where I wanted it in the first place. I am very very scared to ever do anything with my hair again. That was so totally boring I can't believe I'm posting it, but I was imagining us sitting over coffee or beers or whatever and how we would share hair disasters. By the way, if it makes you feel better, Marcia (Carol) from the Bob Newhart Show, was one of my most fav's.

jean said...

I have a hair appointment next Wednesday and now I'm afraid to go. I've been trying to grow out my bangs for a year. My hair is refusing to cooperate. Why don't men have these issues?

Mrs. G. said...

Hair. Arrgghh.

Rebecca said...

I would have KILLED her. I'm totally Samson with my hair (the length correlates with my strength...emotional strength anyway) and if someone cut more of it than I specifically allowed, I would go crazy!

OK, that sounded nuts, I'm not that obsessed but close! :)

BTW, I love that last picture of Linda (if she can look cute with it, why not you? I say go for it).

Anonymous said...

In any court of law they'd have found you NOT guilty of assault and battery after said incident.
That said, I hope you love your new "do."