Wednesday, June 3, 2009

I should run for school board.

Today I was behind a minivan with a bumper sticker that proclaimed, "Proud Parent of a TRAIL RIDGE MIDDLE SCHOOL Honor Student."

Except that the sticker was wrinkled, so upon first glance it looked like the honor student in question attended Thai Ridge Middle School.

Which got me to thinking - what the hell sort of name is Trail Ridge, anyway? And why are all of our schools named like craptastic subdivisions? Trail Ridge, Prairie View, Wood Crest? Seriously?

I like Thai Ridge Middle School because it makes me think they serve totally yummy lunches, and Friday is curry day. But really? I think all middle schools should have names more appropriate to the experiences they house. Sort of a truth in advertising thing.

Perhaps:

  • Everyone Is Cooler Than You Middle School

  • I Hate My Life Middle School

  • The Longest Three Years of Your Life Middle School

  • Like Waterboarding But Worse Middle School

  • This Isn't Like Saved By The Bell Middle School

  • My Mom Said This Zit Wasn't That Noticeable Middle School

Other suggestions?

6 comments:

LaDue & Crew said...

Ya know, I just can't top those... the zit is so cysticly right on- is that a word..?

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Benedict Arnold Middle School.

Banjo said...

I read your blog EVERY day and you never let me down! Just what I needed today and I think you should run!

AnastasiaSpeaks said...

OK, that made me laugh out loud...I especially liked the waterboarding one.

Middle school sucked so much for me, I could relate to all of those.

Cyndi B. said...

We didn't have a middle school where I grew up, just a K-8. But those last 3 years sucked pretty bad anyway.

How about "You'll Never Fit In Middle School?"

Tumble Fish Studio said...

This post is brilliant! You need to save it in a file marked "send these in for publication or as an example for the column I will write for famous magazines someday". So funny and so accurate!

marsha