Dating roundup.

Today, I scared the bejesus out of Guy I've Been E-mailing. We have a date on Sunday night. But today, as I was walking into the office building of my therapist? Well, a really familiar-looking fellow was walking out.

I smiled and said, "Guy?"

He stopped and looked at me, totally taken aback and wondering where he knew my face.

I laughed. "I'm Cha Cha."

He laughed and was all, "Ohmigod - hi! What are you doing here?"

I kept the explanation short. "I have an appointment." Which, as we all know, is code for "I see a counselor twice a week and I'm on antidepressants and no, I don't have any baggage, what are you talking about?"

He laughed and said he didn't want to make me late, and he'd see me in a few days.

So, I received an e-mail from him tonight, apologizing for being at a loss for words. But he said he was very much looking forward to meeting for a beer on Sunday. So, I guess I'm not a total ogre. But the whole exchange did make me feel vaguely like I'm hanging out in a van outside his house. You know - like Creepy Stalker Guy.

Creepy Stalker Guy who is still texting me.

Last Friday, right after lunch, I received this one-two punch:

ARGH!

Hmm. My stalker is a pirate. Nice. This creates a whole new universe of possibilities for my Lifetime Made-for-TV movie.

Just had an awful lunch date at Grand Street Cafe. Now going to Martini Corner for a drink. Will you join me?

Now, Grand Street Cafe is the establishment where Alice had a dead bird drop into her lap about two years ago. I haven't been back since, but I sort of wish a dead bird would drop in and ruin Creepy Stalker Guy's meal.

Tonight, he sent this text: I am never going to hear from u again, am I? At least say something.

Wow - he is a bright one, isn't he? You've been texting me since the first week in May and I haven't responded - you think maybe I'm not going to? Are you really going to give up that easily?

Actually, my initial reaction was that maybe I should say, "No, we aren't friends. You haven't acted like a friend. Don't contact me." But then I thought, no, leave it alone. He's getting the picture. Don't create any undo hope - or anger.

So. There's that. And then there's Mr. I Want You to Want Me, who asked me via text at 9:00 last night if I'd go out for dinner tonight.

I thought it over. I'd have fun. But he was obviously contacting me because he realized he didn't have anything else going on. And isn't a third date worth a phone call, not a text with less than 24 hours' notice?

I declined. I decided I'm worth more than that.

And really? I'm just having a lot of fun with Mr. Guy With Two Dogs. The rest of this? It's all gravy. Cha Cha-learning-how-to-date-casually gravy.