Umm … I need a little reassurance on this one.
So, last we heard from Creepy Stalker Guy, he was all texting and texting and bein’ all creepy-like. Last Friday, I received a three-part text that went a little something like this:
Cha Cha, you know drunk dialing? This is drunk texting. Stick with me here. I have been on so many bad match dates. The 1 with U was the one I looked forward to the most and had the most fun.
Just when you thought it was safe. Damn.
And then yesterday? This bit of magic:
Here is my weekly text to say hi. Why don’t you tell me to beat and leave you alone?
Freudian slip, anyone?
This text was followed up five minutes later with:
Tell me never to contact you again OR go out with me again. One or the other.
Now, for some reason, this got to me. Could he really be so dense that he considers all of this unrequited texting not as harassment, but as – gulp – courting?
I took a chance. I e-mailed him via match.
Subject: Please don’t contact me again
It’s been three and a half months. You went from friendly to creepy quite some time ago.
I hemmed and hawed before I clicked Send, but figured at the very least, I could say that I told him in no uncertain terms where I stood.
I woke up this morning to find this gem in my inbox:
WHOA! I’m offended by your comments. You said that if I called you, then you would pick up … that you still thought we could be friends. (1) Whenever your attitude changed, you should have let me know. (2) The just ignoring thing is rude … and I didn’t think you were a rude person. But I guess you are. Between the rudeness and the “bitchiest e-mail ever,” the because has come clear. You won’t hear from me again. Good luck ever getting married.
Now, I have to admit, I laughed out loud when I first read this. But I also have to admit that the last line, while obviously deflecting some hurt, does sting a little bit – in spite of the assumption that I, of course, want nothing more in this life than to get married.
Barf.
Intellectually, I realize that his outburst is his way of saving face ... he's not creepy; I'm a bitch. But what bothers me is the idea that someone so unbalanced hates me.
(1) I said this to get him to not shiv me in the parking garage after I told him I didn’t think we were a match. I thought this was the standard “I don’t want to date you” comment. Am I mistaken?
(2) He’s kind of got a point, but don’t three and a half months of unanswered texts and e-mails speak for themselves?
So, don’t mind me. I’m just sitting around, being bitchy and not getting married, you know, ever. Sigh.
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14 comments:
I swear I feel like I'm reading a script to a Lifetime movie. WTF? Three months...no returned calls??? How oblivious can you really be?!!?
Lesson of the day is that men (some more than others) have a whole different level of need for explicit communications. I'm frequently surprised by what seemed obvious and clear to me but allegedly needed to be spelled out even more to a him. I once had to have two completely different communication styles with male and female staff members when I realized I had to say to the him what would have felt incredibly rude to say to the her.
Can you sign commitment papers for this guy? He sounds really unbalanced. I HOPE you don't hear from him again!!!
Restraining orders should include text messaging!
Congratulations! You have done this poor deluded man a kindness, even though it doesn't feel that way I'm sure.
You can also be confident that the note your sent him was not, in fact, the Bitchiest Note Ever. *haha!* This unfortunate soul has confused your direct communication style with actual bitchiness because it was something he didn't want to hear.
* ; )
RIGHT ON CHA CHA for telling your stalker to take a hike!!
CHA CHA!!! This guy is out of his freaking mind!!! The problem is HIM, not YOU. Granted, I don’t know you all that well, yet somehow I still feel qualified to say this crazy sonofa is wrong, wrong, WRONG!
He's totally deflecting. You're absolutely correct in his spin on it - It's not him, it's you.
Move on, sweet one. Move on.
How's GW2D doing?
After the second or third unreturned text I think I would have gotten a clue. That is really sad he is that way. I totally understand the friendly "not interested lets be friends". I worry about people a lot in this day and time. You never know if you will get your head blown off for blowing your horn at someone asleep at a green light.
Hang in there.
I hope you don't waste a lot of time thinking about this last communication (and hopefully, it is the last) because this guy isn't worth your time and energy. I hope you do something fun this weekend to celebrate the wonderful person you are.
Glad you hit the send button on that one, Cha Cha. He needed to hear it. He's been beyond creepy and he got called out on it, and that pisses him off. SO crossing my fingers that's the LAST you hear from him.
The freak is living in his own rich fantasy world. He is so full of himself he cannot imagine that you would not be thrilled to have him. You have conducted yourself with class and discretion, two words he would not understand, and you totally did the right thing. His parting shot at you was a desperate attempt to make it about you, not due to his lack of appeal and psycho behavior.
Yeah, you know he is a nut case. No worries.
You are fabulous and amazing whether you date or don't date, get married or don't get married.
Sure he may be ruined for other women because he has met a total goddess, but that's his problem.
You go girl!!
Hard not to dwell on it. Those feelings are real and they are there. Bulls-eye.
And yet...and yet...if he would really like to see an example of 'the bitchiest email ever', well, the one he got from you wouldn't even be in the running. See how clueless?
Just sayin'.
Glad you hit "send" - he IS creepy! But selfishly disappointed that the Tales of Creepy Stalker Guy may have officially come to an end...I do so enjoy reading these transactions :) But that's because I'm sitting safely at home in my recliner and not being stalked by him! He's a wackadoo.
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