Monday, April 29, 2013

Infertile and surrounded by Other People's Babies.

You down with OPB? Yeah, you know me!

I'm mostly over the whole "Everyone in the world is having babies but you" thing. No, really, I am. Mostly.

My sweet brother Poochie and his wife are expecting. I am truly so excited for them. However, it's clear that the family was concerned about how I might take the news. Poochie called me and was all, "I don't know what to say so I'm just gonna tell you: we're having a baby." And I squealed and was so excited, and then I thought about crying. But crying because I was conflicted.

I told my mom that I was totally on board with Operation: Baby Poochie. However, I reserve the right not to attend any fucking baby showers. It kind of sounded like my family was just excited that I wasn't planning on firebombing the nursery.

I guess I'm finding out that it's possible to simultaneously be happy for someone else and kind of jealous but not really. I don't have an overwhelming desire to kidnap my husband's nieces and nephews because, well, they aren't my babies. Because my babies don't exist. And even I realize that you can't turn a person into someone else.

And so I make the most colorful baby quilts, and am always up for a raucous game of Uno, and always ask how school is going. I'm not a mom, but I will be Your Favorite Fucking Aunt of All Fucking Time.

7 comments:

Gary's third pottery blog said...

and they will all be very lucky to have the best aunt of all time :)

cookingwithgas said...

Yes, they will be, you will be a great fuc*ing aunt.
I am going through this in our family and it is hard on not only our son and Daughter-in-law but us and his sister, who has a 3 year old.
I work hard not to say anything unless asked.
Where do you feel the role is with other family members who love you greatly and hurt when you do?
Please don't toss a Pyrex dish at me, I am a bit slow to get out of the way.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Hugs to you--and cheers for a baby Poochie! You will rock the aunt stuff. I wish I knew what to say--you make me think of my dear friend who was going through infertility treatments as a teacher and one of her students had a baby==the most irresponsible girl who'd tear out of the student parking lot chugging a giant soda and slinging her purse while haphazardly strapping in the baby. Her rage was totally within bounds, as yours sounds.

Shortstuff said...

You are totally going to be the Aunt the kids want to go visit without their boring parents. They will LOOOOVE you. They won't be able to help themselves.

Holly Grass said...

I just found your blog. You'll be an awesome aunt.

Karen (formerly kcinnova) said...

I have no doubt that you will be an incredibly awesome aunt because you are a wonderful, caring person.

We began "trying for a family" (what a weird saying) at the same time as our best friends, another young married couple. I felt incredibly guilty when we had 2 young sons and they remained childless, but I am well-aware that my guilt was nothing in comparison to their pain.
There is no way to take away someone else's pain but oh, how I wish I could!

Ilene Springer said...

I like your total blunt honesty about the whole thing--Ilene