Tuesday, June 16, 2009


Potpourri for $200
Lil' Frankfurter has discovered lightening bugs. He watches them and goes to eat them, but when they light up, he freaks out and jumps back. Picture this scenario happening over and over and over again. I don't know why I even have cable.

Potpourri for $400
Today, my shrink was doing her typical "Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh" active listening ... while also grabbing a tissue and in slow motion moving toward a mosquito that had landed on the wall. Dr. Shrink zeroed in on her target and said, "Yeah, you better believe it!" before smashing the pesky bug with - dare I say it? - Freud-like authority.

Potpourri for $600
I'm hosting my book club tomorrow night. And yet? My house is a disaster. All you book club ladies out there: as long as there is lots of wine, do you care if it's best not to go barefoot in my casa?

Potpourri for $800
Your friend and mind, Green Girl in Wisconsin, wrote: I am SO disappointed you had nothing to post on Bret's Tony fiasco;)

Girl, I have been trying to get all of my facts straight before commenting on this important news story. Basically, when the news first broke, the Tony spokewoman was quoted as saying Bret got hit by moving scenery because he "missed his mark."

And I'm sorry, but I totally lost my shit. Bret does NOT miss his mark! He is Bret Michaels! He wrote Unskinny Bop and has turned dating skanks into a multi-million dollar business. He is personally responsible for the resurgence of the bandanna. Bret does not "miss his mark."*

*Unless we're talking about choosing the wrong Rock of Love.

Potpourri for $1000
This is for my friend Liza, who has a bit of a creepy crush on my brother. So, Liza, here's a bit of Poochie Por ... uh, Poochie Photo Appreciation.
This is my bro doing stuff to my house, all handymanlike. He's the best.*

*Also, notice the guest appearance by Gretchen's extension ladder. Gretchen? Also the best!


Tumble Fish Studio said...

Oh, my little Cha Cha. I had a few posts to read to get caught up again, so fogive me lumping all of my comments into one long one . . . again.

The first thing that pops to mind is, why do you keep getting dead squirrels? I have lived all over the country, amongst squirrels and with dogs almost all of my life and I have yet to find a dead squirrel in my yard. Are your dogs like stealthy squirrel hunters and they are getting them? Do you live near a nuclear plant? Are there wires exposed in your power lines above? Or, or, OR . . . . is one of your Ex's or creepy guy leaving them in your yard for you after they have poisoned them? I would get to the bottom of this, my dear. Set up a video camera, call CSI, or with Poochie do a steak out or is it stake out (I'd do a steak out) and watch as you are camouflaged in the background for a day or two.

Your brother is a hottie, from the back of the torso as far as I can tell. What a nice brother! Mine would never in a million gazillion years come help me paint a picture let alone any part of the house.

And I am totally behind in my Bret news, let alone the Tony's (I thought Tony's were for stage productions - shows what I know). I am dying to know more and must now go to research.

Your psychiatrist and the people she hires scare me. But then again, at least your doc has a receptionist. My son's guy doesn't. Makes me wonder if he doesn't make enough to pay one or can't find one he works well with or he . . . well, I best not think on it too much.

Thanks for the sweet comment, my friend. You are one of my most favorite humans in the world too. I love you, I do.

Have a great week with no rotting corpses in your yard!


LaDue & Crew said...

Hmmmmm.... Poochie Po**... If I wasn't married, I'd turn it into a Glossy poster to hang on my closet door. He's got mus-kles, even on his back! Ummm, does he even know he has a little tribe of webby groupies..?

Angie said...

You crack me up! (in the laughter way, not the mental breakdown way). Book clubbers specialize in dirty houses (note the quote on my frig for years: my mother never felt the need to keep a perfect house, one of her greatest gifts to me) and do not mind any degree of grime and chaos as long as there is wine and chat (and those awesome dogs help too!). CAN'T WAIT!

Gretchen Hembree said...

I was going to make a comment about the ladder! I think I put myself through too much drama today. Thankfully you (and Ryan) have corrected me and told me to chill the *f out!

BTW, I don't care about a mess at all! See you in about an hour!

Anonymous said...

Oh hell, now I have a Poochie crush too. Damn you and that camera.
Unskinny Bop. Heh. Forgot about that one.