Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Get outta my face.

I'm thinking about taking a break from an important relationship in my life.

Yes. I'm thinking about taking a break from Facebook. That bitch is just getting me down.

In the last two weeks, FB has told me about a classmate's massive stroke and subsequent death; the passing of a classmate's mom, a woman I've known my entire life; and the life-threatening heart attack of a classmate's dad, a man who was a well-liked teacher when we were in high school.

I can't handle any more bad news! Plus, it disrupts the natural balance of my world. When I talked to my mom tonight, she was all, "Mrs. Wilson had a heart attack," and I was all, "Noooo! It was MR. Wilson! I saw it on Facebook!" And that's just not right. FB is interfering with the flow of the mother / daughter gossip distribution chain.

I will tell you, though, that I'm rejecting another FB friend request. The first rejection was for that bitch who tried to steal my bike shorts in 10th grade. Although I loooooooved Emotional Mullet's suggestion to set up a fan page for my bike shorts and ask crazy girl to become a fan. Because that's just brilliant.

But this other friend request? Well, I didn't recognize this woman's name for the longest time because - hello! - she didn't include her maiden name anywhere. And her picture was of a kid. Didn't give me a lot to go on.

But Miss Thing changed her profile pic, and I now recognize her as a sorority sister. A sorority sister whom I last saw five years ago. Five years ago ... when I was working retail.

Yes. Right after I left Ex-Ex, I subsidized my shitty apartment and supported my freelance writing habit by working at The Body Shop. I learned all about community-trade jojoba oil. I also learned a lot about people based on how they treat retail clerks.

I got mostly immune to the folks who ignore you when you greet them as they enter the store. I still hold a grudge against the woman who snapped at me like a dog, but am proud of myself for smiling pleasantly and walking away as if to say, "You couldn't possibly be snapping at me."

But this particular sorority sister? Well, she came in one day when I was stationed by the front door, in my Body Butter t-shirt, apron, and the black pants I'd actually worn to a real job that didn't involve giving demos of body scrub. A real job where I wasn't the only employee with a college degree yet constantly assigned broom duty.

So, Ms. Thing comes in and I recognize her immediately.

Me: Ms. Thing! How are you?

Ms. Thing, breezing past me: Hi. I'm married and have a son.

She never slowed down. She was not in a hurry. She spent 15 minutes in the tiny store and did not speak to me for the rest of her visit.

I was wearing a fucking name tag and my cheeks burned. Because sometimes? Even when you're voted Most Involved in your sorority and you're a queen candidate and you have the best grades in the house and you get pinned your senior year and you're basically an overachieving nightmare? Even then, you can end up making $7 an hour and being judged on your ability to Windex shelves and promote mascara.

And that's why I'm overly nice to retail clerks. And that's why I'm ignoring yet another FB friend request.


sherilee said...

Wow, you're speaking my language. I've been feeling the same thing lately. Kinda meh, where I had been pretty keen on it for some time... sigh. It was good while it lasted... maybe a break will be good?

But! Do you have the friend who updates everyone on their progress in divorce mediation, asks for prayers and solicits major sympathy while leaving out juicy tidbits about why the whole thing is going down so nastily? I do so love the "hide" button.

Patti said...

I too worked retail a few years ago and experienced a side of people that only service industry people see. My daughters have both been servers in restaurants.

I like to think that maybe people have something awful going on in their life. Maybe they have a shitty relationship, just experienced a loss or are depressed or ill. I have had all those things happen to me and I don't think I have ever been rude or mean to a clerk or a server. Ever. So in spite of hoping there is some explanation for bad behavior that involves the person's true nature being overwhelmed by sadness or unawareness, the truth is they are probably just a douche nozzle.

Facebook her with a message explaining that you really prefer not to add her as a friend because you would never want to be thought as a friend to anyone who would behave as she did, even on a superficial, unimportant social networking site. (can you add a personal message when you reject a friend request?) She deserves to know, (I would actually like to tell her myself) ( but that's just my evil nature talking. :-)

Did I mention I am still looking for the woman who was so mean to my sweet daughter at Houlihans and totally stiffed her on the tip after being the most unpleasant, high maintenance customer ever for no reason whatsoever? I hope karma finds her before I do.

itsjustme said...

Dammit I want to be your facebook friend!!! And I ignore requests all of the time. It's like the phone. Nothing says you have to answer it immediately even if it is in your hand and you are staring at the screen.

Average Jane said...

I've been getting a lot of FB friend requests lately from my dim past (elementary through high school). I am of the opinion that when you lose touch with someone, it's usually for good reason. Even some of my more recent friends that I've reconnected with on FB are now so different that we really don't have anything in common anymore.

Molly said...

ew, she really said that??

Then again, I'm not surprised. I worked at Hollister (big mistake) and a woman once came over and said "Excuse me, what pants are you wearing? I think they'd look good on my daughter. She has big legs just like you do"

I sputtered a few times before say "I'll go get those for you m'am" and walking away. Later she pulled me into her daughter's dressing room to ask my opinion, cuz you know, us big legged girls? we gotta stick together.

hope505 said...

Pffft! FARCEbook ssuuucckks!! Good for you giving it up. NOt only for the reasons you mentioned, but also because you are a valuable and complex human being who deserves a dignified and private life...that wouldn't include spilling all the minutia of each day's activities ~ NEWSFLASH! ~ style...

As you already mentioned, it is easy for people who don't really like you that much to find out what you're up to. And that is the suck of facebook.

ps I am now your 'lucky' 13th follower!
* : )

Anonymous said...

Thank you for reinforcing my offical ban on Facebook. So far I'm surviving fine having never "done" it. I'm kind of cloistered, like a nun (a nonCatholic nun)) and it's working out fine for me.

Former Sorority Sister sounds like a bee-itch. And I am like you--always super nice to retail workers because I cannot imagine the sheer suckiness of having to work that gig.


Rude Biotch. I would deny her too.

Mary @ Giving Up On Perfect said...

Wow-ow-ow. Former sorority sister has SOME NERVE.

I've worked retail twice in the past few years, once as a second job and once as a I-just-got-laid-off-and-had-a-baby-too job. And it was always awkward when I saw people I knew from high school/college. After hearing your story, though, I'm so thankful none of them were as rotten as your former sorority sister!!

Mary @ Giving Up On Perfect said...

I will have you know that I was so disturbed (read: pissed off on your behalf) that I actually dreamed about being at a sorority reunion last night. Where all the girls were poisoned.

I WAS NEVER IN A SORORITY. Therefore, I can only concluded that this random dream was based on reading and stewing over your post.

I was also trying to save them with the assistance of Chuck and Sarah from my favorite show, Chuck. If that matters.