Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Taking responsibility.

I am so fortunate that Green Girl brought this important news to my attention.

VH1 Reality Show Bus Crashes In California Causing Major Slut Spill

Given my love of Rock of Love Bus, I feel partly responsible for this environmental disaster. vh1 transports sluts for my entertainment ... and given my new infatuation with Frank the Entertainer In A Basement Affair, I am guilty as ever.

Yes, it's a reality show where sluts fight for a grown man who lives in his parents' basement.

This woman claims to be 29.

Now, I've blogged and obsessed over Rock of Love Bus. And I've even considered getting over my Donald Trumpaphobia to watch Bret Michaels on The Apprentice. But mostly, I'm wishing Bret would hurry up and get another reality show already, because Frank's sluts just aren't slutty enough.
Case in point.

In the meantime, though, I'm going to support sluts and try to keep them out of our waterways and parks. I'm going to try to contain them by offering them one place to shop for their Lucite heels, boob implants, push-up bras, bad weaves, acrylic air-brushed nails, and leopard-print "formalwear."
It's going to be called SlutMart. And I know there's a need for it, because, really?
Where do they get this stuff? Except for the girl in the jeans. She looks normal and somewhat uncomfortable around all those sluts. Maybe she can lead SlutMart's post-slutty halfway house and counseling program.

Photos courtesy of vh1, that channel that used to play videos.


Molly said...

Oh man. This just makes me light up inside. That first beauty is 23. Who are we kidding. A beauty that pure? Girl clearly has to lie about her age, making herself OLDER so that other hoes don't beat her down.

I personally like the girl wearing a bathingsuit. Because that's always appropriate attire.

Average Jane said...

I've always wondered where the VH1 "reality show" contestants shop. Certainly nowhere that I've ever been.

I am trying to decide if I can put myself through yet another season of Rock of Love. Even Bret doesn't care anymore, as evidenced by his attitude last season.

hope505 said...

SlutMart!!! *hahahahaHAAA!!* O lordy cha cha...I love it!!! !! And it feels great to be laughing so harrd first thing in the morning so thanks for that.
* x D

You know I miss my "Flavor of LOVE" too....::sigh:: no, this batch of sluts don't have as much hooch to 'em, do they...slut #2 up there looks like Anne of Green Gables' cousin, fer cryin out loud.

Anonymous said...

Slutmart--I think you have a winner. Be sure to have displays of stuffed animals because they seem to like those, and whore-red lipstick and nail polish.
I know, I about DIED when I saw that video this weekend. And I knew there was one other person on the planet who would appreciate it as much as me!

8 said...

Seriously? Thanks for the laugh! It went great with my coffee that almost came out of nose!

Cerwydwyn said...

Back in The Day I used to dress like that. My friends and I joked about shopping at: SlutsR Us. Yeah. PS-I'm 45. So is the girl in the first pic.

LaDue & Crew said...

This has me laughing so hard, I almost peed! I even got my hubby to come watch! Thanks, I so needed this laugh.You rock!