Friday, March 12, 2010

Living in a world of fools.

The lovely JeanGenie left a great comment about my Elton John concert experience:

I actually had a guy say "Hold me closer, Tiny Dancer" while were dancing.

Eww.

Yes, JeanGenie, I’m appropriately jealous. And heebed out. But mostly? Mostly, your tale of inappropriate sweet nothings made me think immediately about making out with my ex-boyfriend’s roommate in college. My ex-boyfriend’s roommate, who stopped trying to swallow my ear whole just long enough to sing “How deep is your love?” in said ear.

Yes. The Bee Gees. How deep is your love … I really need to learn. The entire chorus.

I laughed. But sadly, I didn’t laugh enough to put a stop to the shenanigans. He’s probably still putting that move on the ladies.

I learned my lesson – many lessons, actually. Don’t make out with your ex-boyfriend’s roommate because he will ruin a perfectly good song for you and then later you’ll end up at Denny’s in a drunken brawl, fighting over feminism and women’s role in the workplace and you will call him a fascist, chauvinistic pig, realizing only after the words are out that a) you’re not really sure what a fascist is; and b) you are still dependent upon him for a ride back to campus.

Ahem. Bygones.

So, spill it. What’s the cheesiest, most misused song / pick-up line to grace your ears?

4 comments:

mel said...

My junior year in college I went with a friend and her boyfriend to the beach for July 4. Boyfriendless as I was, I invited a male friend. HUGE mistake. I learned that weekend that 1) he's a alcoholic waste and 2) he likes to smoke weed. A lot. Oh, and he wants to get his freak on when he does one or both. I foolishly thought I'd save on costs and share a room with him...two beds of course. He gets wasted, looks at me hazy eyes and says, "So, we gonna screw or what?" Let's don't talk about how I didn't realize these amazing traits about him prior to the invite.

The best part of this story??? Several years later I find out he and my baby sister have hooked up. My nephew calls that awesome piece of man beast 'Daddy'. *Sigh.*

JeanGenie said...

Wow! I'm kind of the subject of a post. I'm so flattered! Nothing can top Mr. Tiny Dancer in my memory... other than the additional fact that I was taller than he was, which makes him the tiny dancer.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

"I wanna sex you up." For real? Ick.

Sarahviz said...

There's a few cheesy Sara/h songs, so I've been subjected to some cheddar:

"Sarah, smile."

"Sarah, storms (or is it stars?) are brewing in your eyes."