Saturday, February 28, 2009

Mortal Kanine: The Long Paw of the Law.

We had a dog party last night. Three women, four kids, four dogs, a bottle of wine and Chinese take out. Foxie Doxie and Lil' Frankfurter were well behaved, and Frankfurter was carried around by my 6-year-old friend, who announced that he smelled like burnt hot dogs. A good time was had by all.

Foxie and Frankfurter were exhausted after their childcare duties. So much so that they slept until 10 this morning. I was shocked and delighted.

As we all woke up, I noticed the two dogs nudging, licking and climbing over each other. They're very comfortable together, and there's a definite pack mentality. It's a stark contrast to the Geriatric Poodle.

I've written before about the Geriatric Poodle's rough start in life. I'll never know his story before we found each other, but it was obvious that he had been abused. Watching Foxie and Frankfurter interact makes me think that the Geriatric Poodle's rough start was even worse than I have ever allowed myself to think.

The Geriatric Poodle was always kind of afraid of shoes. That's a sign he had been kicked. He never figured out how to play, which makes me think that he never had toys, never had playmates and was not engaged or encouraged. Couple that with the too-tight collar and the crushed ribs when he was rescued and you've got one messed up little dude. In some ways, he never learned how to be a dog.
To the Geriatric Poodle's eternal credit, he was a very loving, affectionate friend. It's a miracle that he was able to trust after his rough start. But watching Foxie and Frankfurter - two rescue dogs - display natural tendencies that were too advanced for the Geriatric Poodle due to his abuse and neglect?

Well, it makes me want to hurt somebody.

It makes me want to find the people who hurt that tiny little dog and just beat the shit out of them.

So, maybe this is a good way to channel the anger that's confounding me. I'm going to be a sort of veterinary mercenary, getting vengeance on behalf of mistreated animals. I will even have my own reality show - sort of a mix of Animal Cops and Dog the Bounty Hunter. We'll take tips from viewers and travel around the country, slyly exacting revenge on cowards who hurt animals.

Foxie and Frankfurter have already signed on to be crew members, although they are both demanding producer credits as well. Now, we just need a theme song and we're in business. All I can think of is "These boots are made for walking," or maybe "Goodbye Earl." Because I don't know of any songs called "I raise my leg on your grave." But maybe I should write one. Thoughts?


LaDue & Crew said...

I think they both need super hero costumes with mini casks around their necks for the whiskey swig after the save- the swig being for you after you kick perpetrators ass. Geriatric poodle was blessed to have a momma like you. Vinny deserves you, not me ;-(

you gotta wonder said...

We never do know how/where we find our calling, eh? You're a natural for yours.

nestra said...

My mom did Lab rescue and I hve seen my fair share of abused dogs and all I can say is that the only thing that matters is your two dogs (and the one that went before them) obviously feel safe and loved.

Madge said...

somebody has to do something. totally forgot about Goodbye Earl -- i love that song...

Anonymous said...

You're such a good Doggy Momma. And you know what? Geriatric Poodle may not have come from great circumstances, but the end of his life was full of so much love, thanks to you.

I just love the stories of Foxie and Frankfurter. It sounds just like Baxter and Sam in my house. And yes, they both sleep on my bed, even when CCB is here. They just wedge their little bodies around us wherever they can find a space. And dog hair be damned, because I can't imagine them sleeping anywhere else!

Rebecca said...

I feel so sad that Geriatric Poodle had such a sad beginning but I'm glad that two found each other!

And I love the stories of Foxie and Frankfurter, how sweet.

Now THAT's a party!

When are you going to invite us blog friends over???


hope505 said...

"...It makes me want to find the people who hurt that tiny little dog and just beat the shit out of them."

ChaCha = the Canine Avenger! Your comicbook persona. Everbuddy needs one.