Sunday, March 1, 2009

It's not you - it's me.

Ah, Sunday. You know what that means: another episode of Rock of Love Bus with Bret Michaels.

Yeah, Green Girl, I can't believe I watch this crap, either. And yet I await it eagerly each week.

So, the highlight of this week's episode was one girl getting so wasted that she cuddled up with a parking lot speed bump for the better part of an hour.

I am not making this up.

And ... then she got kicked off the show. In her parting interview, she said, "Well, I guess Bret just can't take a girl who falls asleep on a speed bump!"

Mmm. We all have dating deal breakers. Maybe speed bumps are Bret's.

My dating deal breakers include calling me all the damn time. Mr. Blind Date Guy From Three Weeks Ago? I'm looking at you.

He called me Friday night and left a message for me to "call if you want." He called Saturday afternoon and didn't leave a message. He then called Sunday afternoon - during my alma mater's biggest basketball matchup of the year - and left a message telling me "you're a hard person to get ahold of."

Umm? If I wanted to talk to you, don't you think I would have called you back by now?

It's terrible. I should call him back and tell him he's awesome but we aren't a good match. But now? Now, I'm just really annoyed. And besides - Alice says I've paid my dating dues and therefore not returning his calls won't damage my dating karma.

And then? Then, Mr. Date Guy called tonight. Yeah, I let that one go to voicemail, too. His message? Of the "just calling to catch up" variety, with a dash of "let's get together next weekend," topped off with "I don't know what night you're free, but if it's Saturday, my friends are having a barbecue, so we'll do that."

Oh. Nice that you've got things all planned out. I'll just check my brain and free will at the door.

I'm so annoyed. And I hate confrontation, so the idea of saying "you're great, but go away" just kills me. Would changing my phone number be too extreme?

8 comments:

you gotta wonder said...

Maybe, just for fun, you and the Dallas Diva could swap phone numbers.

I'm praying good dating karma for you both.

LaDue & Crew said...

"I don't know what night you're free, but if it's Saturday, my friends are having a barbecue, so we'll do that."

LMAO!!!!

No, no, my dear, keep the phone number. I want to see what you're "supposed" to do next. Oh. My. Gosh.
I'm speechless...

farmerjulie said...

just catching up..
Brett Michaels..he must be bald..right??
not that bald is bad, but he tries to cover that up..
as for dating...well, my thoughts and prayers are with you!! xoxo you always make me laugh when i come here!!
julie

Madge said...

i like the idea of not calling him back -- although maybe he'll never stop. "we'll do that..." what is wrong with people?

Gretchen said...

You mean when you watched your alma mater get whooped by MY alma mater. :)

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

So phone calls are a deal breaker for you, speed bumps for Bret. It COULD work out between you two...

hope505 said...

"...and left a message telling me "you're a hard person to get ahold of."..."

Yeah. It's because I'm avoiding you.

Or how about: "You know, Blind Date Guy, I appreciate your attention, but frankly I'm just not interested in getting together anytime soon. Thanks, though. Buh-bye now."

* ; )

dallasdiva said...

I like the just don't ever answer the phone. It's worked for me for years. It's a tried and true method of avoidance. I want you to start twittering on date nights, cause really there is nothing better than an evening of following someone else's sucky ass date. (Not that all of yours would be that way . . .but odds are in my favor. ; )