Monday, January 14, 2013

Beauties and baked goods.

As I'm sure you know, this weekend was Miss America.

Since we hosted family this weekend and the people demanded NFL games, the pageant got DVRed. But I didn't watch it alone later, in shame. Oh, no. No, my husband actually requested that we watch it together because, and I quote: "It's fun to watch that stuff with you."

I guess my bipolar pageant disorder is entertaining. On 1 hand, I minored in women's studies and think it's shady that women are required to wear swimsuits as part of a "scholarship competition."

On the other hand? I am a catty, catty bitch. And my mom used to run our local Miss America pageant, and I love all pageants and know that Miss Mississippi used to be required to live for a year with pageant consultants before competing for Miss America and I also know how to tape boobs and Miss America is the only true pageant because it has a talent component and Miss USA is a ju-co dropout poseur and blah blah blah.

So, yeah.

We sat on the couch and commented on evening gowns and groaned at some questionable "talents." Then, I fell in love with My Guy all over again when he said, "I kind of hate the swimsuit competition. None of these women are attractive - they're all way too thin. I don't ever want to see your abs, OK?"

Well, if you say so. OK.

Then, to cement the deal as well as stay with the no-abs theme, he asked, "Is Miss Iowa's talent going to be making bars and frying up some tenderloins?"

Sadly, no. Miss Iowa was a hellova tap dancer and got 4th runner up. However, I'm sure she can also make hella-awesome bars.

Are bars a thing where you live? You know, bars - like, brownies, but not chocolate? What you take to a potluck or the church luncheon after a funeral?

9 comments:

Patience_Crabstick said...

You have a nice husband. :)
I grew up in Western New York, and I don't recall people talking about "bars"--as a food item. We did make something called butterscotch brownies, that sound like they'd qualify.

cookingwithgas said...

we eat anything around here.
Bars or otherwise.
Tapping boobs sounds like it should go on the resume. That could get you a job for sure.

Put some curves back on our girls, they deserve them.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Bars are BIG here. So are taverns (bad-um bum bum).
Seriously, I had no idea you were a pageant fan...of sorts. Crazy!

smalltownme said...

Your guy sounds great!

Violet said...

Bars? Heck, yeah! I grew up in Illinois (land of the Illini bar, which is known in the rest of the world as a caramel brownie), and now I live in Nebraska. Luvvvvvv bars!

I like your husband. Does he have a single brother? I don't have abs, either. Y'know, just in case he does.

Gary's third pottery blog said...

I thought Iowa was corn dogs.... and casseroles! The wife laughed tonight...I made a casserole....maybe my first ever? And no church supper, its all for us!
Problem with pageants is that none of them is my wife, so why would I bother looking ? ;)

Violet said...

Gary, I have a (surprisingly tasty) recipe for corn dog casserole. How 'bout them apples?

sherilee said...

I watched the pageant this year for the first time in many years--and got both my guys to watch with me too. I have always enjoyed pageants, with the same bi-polar appreciation you seem to have.

And the tapping! I loved the tapping. I knew Miss NY was a winner with her routine!

I have to admit that I thought "tavern" when I first read "bars" in your post... but we do make (and eat!) bars around here.

Angie said...

I still can't say bars without a MN accent. Takes me right back to my roots!