Friday, April 17, 2009

Social butterfly.

Tonight, I'm going to Big Stoopid Gala. It should be fun, but I'm most excited about wearing my glam new shoes.

So, I thought I'd show off the shoes.

Turns out, I had some help. So, instead of showing off the shoes, it's really more of a photo essay entitled "Living With Lil' Frankfurter, Style Guru."
Mother, what are you doing?
Foxie, check these out.
Please tell me you aren't going out wearing those shoes with jeans rolled up like that. Please. Don't make me stage an intervention.
-Fin-

In other social news, I received the most awesome intro e-mail on match.com. Most of the online dating communication I feature here is paraphrased to protect the guilty. But this one? I just have to post in all of its glory.

Keep in mind that I don't know this man from a can of paint and this is his very first communication with me. And his last.

I don't know if I ramble too much in these or not. I'm a really cool guy. I can show you a good time. I'll pay for everything unless you insist on buying. I miss my friends. I'm not a native of . I don't know very many people this far South. I live at like . I work crazy hours in the winter, which isn't too bad considering it's cold and nasty. I love to joke around a lot. I don't know how to describe myself in writing. All the women I know and haven't dated complain about the guys on line. I am not looking for a one night stand. I'm not a perv. I just wish I could find a great girl that isn't afraid to joke around and have a good time. Someone that doesn't have to drink a six pack every night. Someone who is self confident. I swear I'm a crazy magnet and it has brought me here. I want to meet someone I can take serious. It gets pretty lonely here with all my friends living to far away to just drop on in. I can't even get them to come down this far to see me even if I offer up free beer. I have to pack up and head up North to visit them. I just can't do that very often. I think I've written to many of these. I'm starting to wonder if it is really all it is hyped up to be. I'm not a loser. I'm not ugly. I shower. I work. I brush my teeth...all of them. I've been told I'm a good kisser. I'm confident and good at what I do. I can be very artistic if inspired. I have 2 cars and a motorcycle I live in a huge apartment with my cat. He's crazy and running around like mad right now. I love him though. I don't know what else to say. I'm not needy. I'm not mean. I'm not violent. It would hurt me to have to hurt someone I cared about so I don't. I don't fight or argue. I am perhaps too easy going or nice. I had a girlfriend breakup with me once because I was too good to be true. I never got that one but she was a bit crazy. I only have myself to spoil. I'd love to have someone else to spoil. I'm running out of things I want. And I have everything I need. I'm ready to settle down and be a great boyfriend. I'd like to know more about you.

Later,

Guy

Oh, Guy. I'm allergic to cats. Sorry.

5 comments:

Saucy said...

Dear Guy,

What up? You didn't mention the big wart on your forehead or that you voted for Sanjaya on American Idol like, ten thousand times and you have a poster of Simon Cowell over your fireplace.

You also forgot to mention that "thing" you have about feet and that certain colour-blindness that renders you incapable of dressing yourself.

That motorcycle had better not be one of those sissy ones that the clowns at Barnum and Bailey ride but I suspect strongly that it is.

It sounds like you have some issues with living "north" and methinks that you might just be the kind of crazy that would thrive even farther away from the lower 49 so may I suggest Wasilla, Alaska? There is a nice young gal there looking for a mate.

Stay away from our gal Cha Cha!

Lurrve,
Saucy

PS. She kicks hard in those shoes. Real hard.

LaDue & Crew said...

Yeah, I bet he rides a Vespa... while wearing a scarf AND a Harley jacket. His aviator sun glasses are as thick as coke bottles, and his everyday scent is the left over Vicks he rubbed under his nose last night. He's only been caught wearing his mommies underwear once, so cut him a bit of slack, ok..? But other than that, what do you think is wrong with him..? Ok, this is killing me- my security word is pecker- ROFLMAO!!!

AnastasiaSpeaks said...

OMG, that's just nuts!!

And those shoes kick ASS.

:)

dallasdiva said...

LOVE the shoes. Very sassy. Was there a photo? Cause that sounds a lot like my friendly asian dude who keeps sending me winks. English, clearly, is not his mother tongue.

Tumble Fish Studio said...

Nope. I know who it is. It's Bret. Has to be.

Love the shoes!