Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Seriously?

Two things:

1. I went to lunch today with some awesome coworker / friends who were kind enough to take me out for a belated birthday lunch. While we were waiting to be seated, I heard my name, and so looked around like a spaced-out dork. Who would be calling my name but ... Ex-Ex.

He was sitting so close to where I was standing that it was impossible for me not to say hello. His hair is growing out, and he looks like a Q-Tip - not so much Bull from Night Court anymore.

"So," Ex-Ex asked. "Playing hookie again?"

Dude.

"Well, yes, if by 'playing hookie,' you mean 'going out for lunch to celebrate my birthday.'"

He was startled. My birthday is obviously not on his radar anymore. Good.

After a little more small talk, I joined my friends for tasty vittles. But tonight? Tonight I had this waiting in my inbox:

Cha Cha,

I am so, so sorry I totally spaced on your birthday. I hope it was a good one. Let me buy you a drink or six soon.

Happy 29th!

Ex-Ex

Seriously?

Dude. You totally phoned it in on every birthday I had in the seven years we were together. I would have to give myself pep talks in the bathroom mirror when I realized that the too-small, white, unlined sundress or the planter filled with stuff you grabbed on the way home was the full extent of my birthday gift - no engagement ring in sight. The last year we were together, we went to Chipotle for my birthday.

Chipotle. Seriously?

So, if you're feeling like you need to make up for all the birthdays you "missed?" The count's at 12. And by the way? I'm not 29. I'm 34. Because unlike some people? I am perfectly happy with who I am and where I am. Seriously.

2. Your friend and mine, drawer queen, sadly does not have any photographic evidence of the ensemble that inspired this dramatic haiku:
Envious laughter?
Purple zip front shorts jump suit
I made it myself

Seriously, that's a shame. A damned shame. But in her kind e-mail, drawer queen spoke of magical things - discount shopping with the goal of assembling the ugliest outfit for fame and free lunch! Fun times should I ever be in her fair city ...

Her fair city, which happens to be ... my fair city.

We live within walking distance of each other.

Seriously?

Holy shit!

And so, we shall plan the date I am most looking forward to in all of my many, many dates: The Blog Date! And I'm pretty sure drawer queen isn't hoping I'll put out, so that's a relief.

Seriously? The world is a fucking tiny place. I am so delighted.

8 comments:

LaDue & Crew said...

Seriously.......... is he for real? Crap.

I think we need to have a Cha Cha party for all of us that truly love you. Who else is in..?

SCREAMING FOR CHOCOLATE said...

Good thing your ex-ex is your ex. Chipotle..gah. How uber sucky. Even gift cards would have been better than what he got you.

you gotta wonder said...

Seems like God is wanting you to feel good about your choices, eh?

Hold your head up high! You know enough to say "seriously?" at all of the right opportunities.

cndymkr / jean said...

The guy needs a serious head slap. And is he stalking you, he seems to be bumping into you alot.

How great that you get to meet a real live blogger! take pictures and have fun.

Sara said...

Someone needs to stage an intervention with Pelt/Bull/Q-Tip tout de suite. Honestly!

You, uh, didn't happen to sneak a picture of the growing-out 'do, did you?

Dorrie said...

I hope you didn't bother to email him back. He doesn't deserve a reply.

It is a small world. Enjoy your shopping trip. Sounds fun!

Saucy said...

DO NOT go to lunch with ex-ex. Who wants to be seen with stubble top?

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

I bet your blog date will be better than any other you've been on lately.
Your ex ex sounds like my husband--who has a wretched track record on my birthday--even though it comes the same time every year.