Welcome to all of the kind folks who have journeyed here via the lovely Mrs. G. Welcome to the Heartbreak Hotel … where the meds are starting to kick in and I’m exploring better living through new electronics.
So, my brother Poochie came this weekend. He held me while I cried and cried. And then he announced that we were done crying. So we ate barbeque. And then we bought a TV.
Last week, when Alice was helping me develop a plan that was more than “sit on my couch and sob,” one of her tough-love action items was about my TV. Some friends gave it to me three years ago … they were going to put it on the curb, but I took it instead.
It buzzes. And the picture is really dark. And this beaute is hooked up to DishNetwork, which I think means I am truly white trash, not far from the shotgun shack with the satellite dish.
So Alice suggested I rearrange my living room furniture and buy a new TV already. I think maybe the TV was one of those things that I took for granted but maybe everyone who visited the house noticed. Hmm.
So, Poochie and I trekked to Best Buy and I bought one of them there flat screen tee vees. We rearranged the furniture, but left the old TV plugged in on the floor so that we could experience the joy of unranked Iowa beating #3 Penn State. There was celebration. And smart interior design.
There was also celebration for Foxie Doxie. I determined Thursday night that the young rapscallion had ingested … a pantyliner.
Yep.
I suddenly had visions of having to tell either I Love You Forever Dr. Vet or his counterpart, More My Age and Totally Hot Vet that my dog was deathly ill because he ate a pantyliner.
Poop Watch 2008 commenced.
And then, there was celebration, because Foxie Doxie passed it like a champ. And even outside! And Poochie sang Kool ‘n’ The Gang’s “Celebration” in the middle of the street. And all was right with the world.
All in all, it’s been a pretty good weekend so far. I’m trying really hard not to be daunted by the eight hours of nothing to do before it’s time to go to bed. There was a time when I would kill for eight hours of nothing to do … now, I feel tasked with work, that work being Doing Something.
So maybe I’ll watch some TV. Or maybe I’ll go to Old Navy and buy some underwear since half the contents of my undie drawer are unwearable. Or maybe I’ll be a good neighbor and rake some of those leaves. Or maybe I’ll just keep surfing blogs.
Yeah, this is why the readers keep pouring in and keep coming back for more. The drama. Welcome.
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16 comments:
Hilarious!
You made me laugh out loud with the purchase of your new tee vee :)
There's nothing wrong with few hours of good old blog surfing.
I'm happy Poochie's there with you.
Thank goodness for the safe passage of the pantiliner! And for the Iowa win (Go Hawks! what a game!). And for a respectable weekend sans mix tape or heavy drinking--I'm really proud of you, Cha Cha!
Hi Cha-Cha,
I left you a comment over at The Manor, but wanted to stop by here and give you a virtual hug. :) I"m sorry for the heartbreak you're going through right now. It's awful, I know.
You're doing the right thing by rearranging your furniture! I also have been known to get a new haircut when heartbreak hits...a new look for the new chapter. It doesn't need to be anything drastic. Just something to give you a little pick-me-up! Hang in there!
Old Navy has awesome panties - I just figured that out not too long ago.
And omg - I had to laugh about the part of watching the dog, and waiting for the pantyliner to pass - I have SOOOOO been there. I, too, was mortified of trying to explain that one to the vet. Fortunately, neither of us had to! :)
Hope your Sunday remained on the upside!
Don't you love it when a great friend (Ms.G) tells you about another great person. It's good to have brothers that care. I went through 4 years of deep depression before trying med's. Great stuff.
So glad you got a new flat screen-- spending money is how I always handled a bad situation. I'll be back to visit. Good luck.
Judy
another visitor here from Derfwad Manor. Mind if I meddle?
Poochie sounds like the very best brother ever. And your friend Alice is absolutely right - don't stop listening to her!
and how can you be blue when your dog passes a panti-liner? We once knew a dog that ate a shower-cap - but I digress....
the place you're at is painful, but I can tell by what you've posted about here that you're pulling out of it. Rearranging your home is one of the best ways to mark a change - positively.
Best to you.
There's nothing like pantyliner hijinks to distract, consider it roughage.
I am a big believer in shaking up the feng shui to improve on a mood. Loads of blooming plants too!
hang in there.
Your Pal,
Linda
i say it is time to invest in tivo. you will love and adore it and you are due some serious t.v. viewing, for sure. this will knock out the mindless surfing and seeing nothing. instead, you will build up a bank of nothing and as you watch them and delete them you actually feel like you are accomplishing something. it is brilliant.
my dogs are way more sophisticated than yours. they don't eat the entire pantiliner, just the delicious crotch area. yuck.
Well now, didn't I tell you a while back that shopping would do wonders? A nice new telly, that will do the trick. Now just make sure you watch good TV, stay away from Dr. Phil and Maury right now, they'll bring you down.
When you're down in the dumps, it's all about:
1. Project Runway reruns
2. Paris Hiltons My New BFF (no brains or concentration required!)
3. I Love Lucy
4. Jeapordy! Especially this week, it's Teen Championships so you will feel really smart!
Go for it. Grab some ice cream and put your feet up!
Thanks for the welcome. Your mention on Mrs G was timely because my 20 yo daughter is going through her first big bad breakup and...well...misery loves company. She's still young enough to make mix cds and not think they're dorky.
Tina
Hooray - sounds a bit brighter (even though sad is okay too). Our dog, Thurston, once ate 48 unblown balloons! We had to make him puke it out. See? You're not the only one with that thrilling life style.
My dogs once ate $100 in twenties . . .I am poor. I am now able to describe my poverty by saying not only did I do poop watch, but I also did green bill find, wash, dry and tape before taking them to good ole Bank of America and begging them to launder my money by giving me fresh non shat on twenties. (Sadly I only recovered $80, but that was better than nothing.)
Oh, and I have found myself swallowing by the deep blues more than once. I am so sorry that you appear to be there. You can loose hours at a time on the internet, so it may not be a bad place to hang for a bit . . .
I came over from Mrs.G' not to say you'll get over in time cause who wants to hear that? But the funk will end once you have had enough time to heal. Don't let anyone tell you how long that should take either. I'm sorry for the pain you're feeling right now and do hope that it will ease up sooner than later.
My dog hasn't eaten any pantyliners recently but my cat did enjoy some Christmas tinsel last year. Poor booger was walking around with a shiny silver string hanging from his butt. OMG.. trying to get a cat to lay still while you yank tinsel from his hind end is not as easy as it may sound. Me and all my kids tried to gently remove it but NO! G wasn't really going for that. Had to wake my husband up so he could yank it out. I was left with a few scars but maybe this year he'll leave my tree alone.
I found you via Mrs. G, too. Over the past few days I've flipped through the last year of your blog and I love it. I'm sorry you've had a rough time and I do hope things get better. In the meantime, hang in there and keep posting!!
www.3continentfamily.wordpress.com
Dwell on, sister. Watch that new tee vee with abandon.
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