Saturday, January 24, 2009

Mental breakdown in Target: thwarted!

When I was having such trouble sleeping, I decided one night at about 2:30 a.m. that my bedroom needed redecorating. It needed to become more of a boudoir, a haven.

I also decided that I could no longer sleep underneath an artist's depiction of my dead dog. The poodle and dachshund artwork would have to move to the office, despite the entertaining fact that from a certain angle, the black poodle looks like Darth Vader.

I'm still working on the artwork, but am close to ordering a giant decal from etsy. Anyone have experience with giant stickers as wall ornamentation?

But today, I spent the afternoon schlepping about town, looking for new curtains. I looked at all the "gee, I hope this is on sale" stores. And I finally had my prayers answered by Barbara at the JCPenney home store, who gave me the pricing that starts tomorrow on the drapes that I bought today, because she didn't want me to have to drive all the way back to the store.


I was deep in suburbia when I hit this home decor jackpot. And so I moseyed across the street to the luxurious Super Target. As I was pulling into the parking lot, I remembered that this was the Super Target just a few blocks from where The Ladybug lived with her mother. This was the Super Target where The Ladybug reported shopping several times a week.

I needed a baby shower gift. I had to go to Target. So I went about my shopping, unable to fully experience and enjoy The Target Stroll. No, I was instead worried about what would happen if I ran into The Ladybug.

Yes. I was afraid of a 5-year-old girl.

Would she remember me? Would I say hi and then have to say, "you know, I was friends with your daddy?" If she was with her mother, would the earth just swallow me whole? Would I have to explain that the Geriatric Poodle went to heaven to play with her old dog? Would her mother be even taller and blonder than I remember and look disdainfully at the selection of items in my cart?

Or what if she was with her dad? I was totally in The Ex-Boyfriend Formerly Known as Mr. Wonderful's 'hood, although not his preferred Target.

And then? And then I had a giant "fuck it" moment. I bought a delightful floral place mat to put under Foxie Doxie's water dish. I scored some baby shower swag. And then I went home.

My Saturday night was spent ironing curtains while watching Miss America. Alone. And really? It was great.


LaDue & Crew said...

I love decorating... I'll run right over ;o) I have 2 decals/ stickers I have put up, and love them! They really are easy. I only have a pic of the 1 so far- it says "Family" above my family pics. Here's the link to that post with the pics: I put one up in the kitchen, too. The best part is if yo want to move it, or change decor, they come right off without screwing up the paint!

I love her nickname, Ladybug ;o)

Rebecca said...

I'm terrible at decorating but I love changing my environment a little to give it a new look. It does feel good doesn't it?


Linda Summerfield said...

Dear Cha Cha,
Nothing bad can ever happen in a Super Target. Please steer clear of Walmart it does not have the same magical protective qualities.
Your Pal,

you gotta wonder said...

That was a tale well told. I'm glad everything worked out.

Now I'm about to deploy a long overdue bathroom makeover courtesy of Bed, Bath and Beyond 20% off coupons.

hope505 said...

"...I had a giant "fuck it" moment. I bought a delightful floral place mat..."

Atta girl! *heehee!* Remember Tom Cruise tells us we have to say it once in a while...

Christy said...

Glad you made out with the goods you went in for. And actually I do have have a giant wall decal (and many smaller accompanying decals) on a wall in my house and I LOVE them. Awesome. I'll be posting photos on my blog soon.

Angie said...

The awesomeness of SuperTarget just goes without saying, so I will just add my comment that the JCP Home Store is my absolute window covering nirvana. It has never failed me. Even after years of HGTV marathons I am so design-challenged but they always come through with just the thing - and usually on sale to give me that "shopping miracle" kind of high.

As a correlary to the dating challenge rules you pose (of which I am so hopelessly out of practice I could contribute nothing of value but a laugh!), I would offer up my true tests of the bestest pals - #1 genuine (or well-feigned) interest in my vacation photos and a willingness to share yours and #2 help me pick out curtains, paint colors and decide what goes where in a room. Priceless.